Oh yeah, now that we’ve survived the Bad Cartoon Contest, it’s time to press our luck and move on to prose.
As with Bad Cartoons, all levels of ability are applauded and everyone’s a winner!
Q: What constitutes bad?
A: If you think it’s bad, it qualifies.
Q: What if my haiku is good?
A: Let us see it, please, please, please.
Q: What exactly is a haiku?
A: Academic definitions are debatable and have been known to incite brawls among Buddhist monks. For the purposes of our Bad Haiku Contest, a haiku is defined as:
Three lines of prose in which the first and third lines each contain five syllables and the second line contains seven.
Q: Can you provide an example?
A: Of course! A fantastic example of a haiku came from a fourth grader whose teacher explained the rules (as above) and asked for a haiku. The student turned in:
Five syllables here
Seven more syllables there
Are you happy now??
Of course, in our Fountain Pen Community, a pen/ink/paper subject might be more appropriate:
Do I use my pen?
In silence I have wondered:
Does it not use me?
Q: Must a haiku rhyme?
A: Nope. In fact, they usually don’t.
Q: What about punctuation?
A: Punctuation, capitalization, even grammar, is completely up to the author.
Q: No twist? No irony? No surprise?
A: True, the last line of a haiku should provide a twist or a surprise. If you can manage that, all the better. Example:
Baystate Blue on nose.
Hemitite Rouge on forehead.
Passport photo time!
Q: What can I win?
A: Fame and fortune and accolades! Ok, fortune not so much. In fact, no fortune. Maybe not even fame. But an accolade or two for sure!
Q: How do I participate?
A: Just use the comments area below to astound us with your Best Bad Haiku.
Q: Can I enter more than once?
A: Absohaikulutely! Pummle us with as many Bad Haikus as you’ve got to give.
Q: When is the deadline?
A: The comments area of this post will be closed on September 30, 2012, at 11:59pm Pacific.
Q: Is this another famous FPGeeks Contest Without Borders?
A: But of course!
Q: Must my haiku be in English?
A: No borders, no language barriers. Write your haiku in the language of your choice.
No more questions? Yippee! Let’s get down to haiku business!
Submit your Bad Haiku:
Just use the comments section below and await acclaim and honor!