Oh yeah, now that we’ve survived the Bad Cartoon Contest, it’s time to press our luck and move on to prose.
You needn’t be a Matsuo Bashō or a Kobayashi Issa to participate. If you can count to seven, you’re more than qualified to write a Bad Haiku.
As with Bad Cartoons, all levels of ability are applauded and everyone’s a winner!
Press Conference:
Q: What constitutes bad?
A: If you think it’s bad, it qualifies.
Q: What if my haiku is good?
A: Let us see it, please, please, please.
Q: What exactly is a haiku?
A: Academic definitions are debatable and have been known to incite brawls among Buddhist monks. For the purposes of our Bad Haiku Contest, a haiku is defined as:
Three lines of prose in which the first and third lines each contain five syllables and the second line contains seven.
Q: Can you provide an example?
A: Of course! A fantastic example of a haiku came from a fourth grader whose teacher explained the rules (as above) and asked for a haiku. The student turned in:
Five syllables here
Seven more syllables there
Are you happy now??
Of course, in our Fountain Pen Community, a pen/ink/paper subject might be more appropriate:
Do I use my pen?
In silence I have wondered:
Does it not use me?
–S Brown
Q: Must a haiku rhyme?
A: Nope. In fact, they usually don’t.
Q: What about punctuation?
A: Punctuation, capitalization, even grammar, is completely up to the author.
Q: No twist? No irony? No surprise?
A: True, the last line of a haiku should provide a twist or a surprise. If you can manage that, all the better. Example:
Baystate Blue on nose.
Hemitite Rouge on forehead.
Passport photo time!
–E Schneider
Q: What can I win?
A: Fame and fortune and accolades! Ok, fortune not so much. In fact, no fortune. Maybe not even fame. But an accolade or two for sure!
Q: How do I participate?
A: Just use the comments area below to astound us with your Best Bad Haiku.
Q: Can I enter more than once?
A: Absohaikulutely! Pummle us with as many Bad Haikus as you’ve got to give.
Q: When is the deadline?
A: The comments area of this post will be closed on September 30, 2012, at 11:59pm Pacific.
Q: Is this another famous FPGeeks Contest Without Borders?
A: But of course!
Q: Must my haiku be in English?
A: No borders, no language barriers. Write your haiku in the language of your choice.
No more questions? Yippee! Let’s get down to haiku business!
Submit your Bad Haiku:
Just use the comments section below and await acclaim and honor!
