1st Annual Limerick Contest

In honor honour of St. Patrick’s Day, the Irish, and in our never ending quest to extract creativity from the masses, Fountain Pen Geeks proudly presents our First Annual Limerick Contest!

All levels of ability are welcome and applauded.

Press Conference:
Q: What is a limerick?
A: A limerick is a humorous verse of three long and two short lines with a rhyming pattern of AABBA.

Example:

There once was a man with a yen
To acquire a fine fountain pen.
He spent a few weeks
At Fountain Pen Geeks,
And now he owns three hundred ten.

Q: Aren’t limericks usually obscene?
A: If you are even slightly familiar with limericks, you’ll likely be aware that they are often bawdy and/or vulgar. Not so at Fountain Pen Geeks. You are perfectly free to come close to vulgarity, even hint blatantly at it, but please, keep the actual words clean for the little ones (innuendo scores bonus points).

Q: What can I win?
A: Oh yes, there will be a prize. At the end of the contest, a special Limerick Rating Committee will choose a “Most Favored” among all limericks submitted. The author of the Most Favored Limerick will win:

  • One TWSBI Mini, and
  • One Bottle of Diamine Emerald Ink

Q: How do I participate?
A: Just post your limerick in the comments section below.

Q: Can I enter more than once?
A: Faith and begorra – of course! Crush us with your rhyming prowess.
You’re welcome to enter as many times as you like, but please enter only one limerick per comment (unless your limerick is multi-versed).

Q: When is the deadline?
A: The comments area of this post will be closed on Monday, March 31, 2013 at 11:59pm Pacific. That’s the deadline.

Q: Is this another famous FPGeeks Contest Without Borders?
A: Oh yeah!

Q: Must my limerick be in English?
A: No borders, no language barriers. Write your limerick in the language of your choice.

No more question? Hoorah! Let the Limerick Party begin!

Submit your Limerick:
Just use the comments section below to astound us with your creativity!

Tagged with →  
Share →
  • Mandy

    I’m a wee lass and writings my game.
    With the first strokes of a fountain I was never the same.
    The ink was so bold and stock felt just right.
    The nib flexed some muscle it was love at first sight.
    We Fountain Pen Geeks know ball points are lame.

  • http://twitter.com/ThruYa Markus

    A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
    picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
    He took a big bite
    before spitting, in fright,
    “OMG, WTF, BBQ!”

  • Paul Keough

    The Japanese pen was a deal
    The likes of which made us all squeal,
    The nib made us blink,
    “It’s the color of ink!”
    At least till it started to peal.

  • bailey_philip

    My Kaweco and Lamy are German
    The Delta, Visconti Italian
    A Sailor Japan
    540 Taiwan
    My US of A pen’s a Conklin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cesar.salazar.jr Cesar Salazar

    My pens from Bexley, Parker, and Sheaffer,
    Brings me delight as I write on paper.
    Clairefontaines and Rhodias,
    Fill my head with ideas.
    Still writing now. Will chat with you later.

  • http://twitter.com/bethinoz bethinoz

    A Twisbini and ink for a Rhyme?
    That sounds like a hell of a time!
    If the three wise men
    Just gave me the pen
    Then I’d think of a funny last line

  • writingrav

    There once were three men with a pen
    Their names were Steve, Eric and Dan then
    Their passion for pens grew and grew
    And before long everyone knew
    They were no longer just men but Geeks true

  • http://twitter.com/ThruYa Markus

    There once was a man out of ink
    With his brain soon he started to think
    He sailed the Pacific
    Caught a large squid terrific
    Pens are now full, but boy do they stink

  • http://www.facebook.com/oliver.taylor.712 Oliver Taylor

    I better come out and say it,
    no reason to further delay it,
    I want a Twsbi,
    for me me me me,
    my joy would make my sides split.

  • http://www.facebook.com/will.platt.39 Will Platt

    Ubi ponor ad carta et resisto
    dominus meus deridio,
    sed conistiti
    et circumspecti
    et ubi confodebatur, clamavit, “sciverit! fluxis male, et ille erat signo”

    • http://www.facebook.com/will.platt.39 Will Platt

      Translation (not supposed to rhyme in the translation…that would be near impossible):
      When I am put on paper I resist,
      my master makes fun of me,
      but I stood my ground,
      and looked around
      and when he was stabbed, he shouted, “I knew it! You flowed badly, that was the sign!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/will.platt.39 Will Platt

    If you’re looking for a good Vacumatic,

    go look in your grandma’s attic,

    but don’t stay to long,

    you might find her th*ng,

    from the days she wrote with a pneumatic!

  • Paul Keough

    An ink we call Hematite Rouge
    Conspired to waken my muse
    A drop of deep red
    With golden green thread,
    It’s practically too good to use!

  • http://twitter.com/Laurel_Hardy1 Laurel_Hardy

    There once was a soul seeking expression
    And in pens soon found a fond passion
    Twixt pens, pads, and inks
    Trying hard not to think
    Passion passed swift to expensive obsession

  • http://theinkednib.com/ Lee Smallwood

    Barbara wrote with a mighty pen
    In the inkwell she dipped right in
    Her poor husband Maurice
    Begged and begged for a piece
    But she found his fine nib too thin

  • Scrawler

    At his desk sat the Bishop of Whittingham
    Thinking of words and of writing ‘em
    So he took out his pen
    and wrote some and then
    sat back and admired the wit in ‘em

  • http://twitter.com/ThruYa Markus

    Tom played with his pen all the time,
    With great vigor, his nib almost shined!
    He grew hair on his palms,
    Now he just collects alms,
    For poor Tom is now totally blind.

  • http://twitter.com/Laurel_Hardy1 Laurel_Hardy

    There was a young lad at a pen show
    who met there a girl there in the know
    She said is that a pen in your pocket?
    To show her he dropped it
    She saved it grabbing his barrel from below.

    What? You encouraged innuendo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PowerUnit John Hanson

    My ink is a Waterman Brown
    I use it to lay my words down
    With an empathetic groan
    And kaleidoscopic tone
    My prose walks itself downtown

  • http://www.facebook.com/PowerUnit John Hanson

    A nude man from Toronto with ink
    Stumbled and landed in pink
    His woman did rib
    at his off colored nib
    then flushed it clean in the sink

  • snedwos

    There was an old fish from the Bay State
    Who regarded most colours with great hate.
    Quoth he: “What I shall do,
    “Is I’ll stain them ALL BLUE!”
    That tinctorious old fish from the Bay State!

  • Cornet

    There was a young lady of Wantage
    of whom the town clerk took advantage
    said the county surveyor
    “of course you must pay her”
    You’ve altered the line of her frontage

  • Scrawler

    An innocent boy in Lapland
    as a gift received a Le Grand
    he practiced all night
    but still couldn’t write
    as it was too large for his hand

  • http://www.facebook.com/PowerUnit John Hanson

    Orvil sat on his inkwell
    So well he started to swell
    It flowed through his hip
    And then it did drip
    Out of his Faber Castell

  • Sara

    SBREBrown siemore rozagante,
    Me presentó con voz cautivante
    Una pequeña guerrera
    con alma aventurera
    En cuerpo de diamante

    • Sara

      Correction: “SBRE Brown siempre rozagante”

    • Stephen Brown

      Gracias :-).

  • Paul Mirabito

    I once heard a very strange sound

    There was Orthodox chanting abound
    There were fountain pens and inks
    All kinds of great things
    I had found the channel of Stephen Brown

    That day I didn’t have one
    But Stephen sure did have some
    I have quite a few now
    All because of Stephen Brown
    And I’m waiting for the next one to come.

    • Stephen Brown

      Hehe, nice :-).

  • Paul Mirabito

    I showed her my serious nibbage
    Her collection I wanted to pillage
    She couldn’t care less
    She’d rather play Chess
    She came from a very small village.

  • Scrawler

    A beautiful girl from Mobile
    wondered just how it would feel
    to write a love letter
    with pink that was wetter
    than Noodler’s ink of an eel

  • http://twitter.com/ThruYa Markus

    Sword training, in an unusual way,
    John did “no-handed push-ups” as he lay;
    As the training grew longer,
    So did his weapon, and stronger!
    Though he forgot to acquire a blade.

    When the day of the contest arrived,
    His dear sheath had no steel sword inside!
    So he reached in his pants,
    And then used his strong lance,
    To defeat every warrior in line.

    The newspaper reporter ran forward
    To the typist, upon hearing, was floored!
    His mind so out of place,
    Split first word with a space,
    In headline: PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN SWORD.

  • Cornet

    There was a young man from Liberia
    who purchased his pen in Nigeria
    thought he’d done good
    it was brass with a hood
    but really it was rather inferia

  • Scrawler

    A callow young man of Kildare
    besotted with lovely Miss Claire
    wrote her with ink
    a rather bright pink
    now she thinks he’s lacking a pair

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    I’m not seeing where to submit comments. Is there somewhere I need to login besides the forums?

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    There once was an octogenarian
    who worked as a veterinarian
    his colleagues conspired
    to have him retire
    when he started to try to treat carrion

  • http://www.facebook.com/walter.zabrouski Walter Joseph Zabrouski

    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Whose old ballpoint pen he did chuck it
    Now fountain pens see
    Are what cause him to squee
    Not where you thought this was going, now was it?

  • Paul Mirabito

    My pens and inks near my bed
    Their colours fill up my head
    To acquire them took time
    I love them, They’re mine
    I’ll loan you a ballpoint instead

  • GreenBox

    Of the seven sins I choose glutton
    Don’t think of stupid potatoes and mutton
    After watching a fpgeek rave
    It is ink that I crave
    But most of all I want that button

  • Daniel M

    Steam trains and fountain pens.
    I look at them through my lens.
    I take pictures of them,
    I must have at least ten.
    I’ll give them away to my friends.

  • Gary Linn

    Now TWSBI makes wonderful pens,
    But problems crop up now and then,
    With bad nibs in the Vac,
    And 540s with cracks,
    Speedy makes it right in the end!

  • Gary Linn

    Doc Brown’s YouTube skills are well honed,
    His large hands are frequently shown,
    With one writing sample,
    The quick fox for example,
    His likes and dislikes are now known.

  • Gary Linn

    Eric, Stephen and Dan are all Geeks,
    Some might even consider them freaks,
    They’re obsessed with their pens,
    Love them more than their friends,
    And could play with their nibbage for weeks,

  • The Ruffled Quill

    Twaz a crazy old scribe called O’Keeffe

    Who caused to his abbot much grief

    He searched Clonmacnoise

    for a Pelikan Tortoise

    So that he could finally write a full sheaf.

    Erin go Bragh!

    “La Fheile Padraig Shona daoibh go leir” (in english Happy St Patrick’s Day to you all).

  • Scrawler

    There was an old maid from Nantucket
    who brewed iron gall ink in a bucket
    using only fresh galls
    crushed between mauls
    and sold at one ounce for a ducat

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    a former ranch hand from El Paso
    could never stop swinging a lasso
    when one day on his boat
    he’d forgotten his rope
    he fashioned one out of sargasso

  • Paul Mirabito

    I never had toys as a child
    I prefer chili hotter than mild
    with Oxblood inside
    I can write on with pride
    If you touch my pens, I’ll go wild

  • Paul Keough

    There once was a man from Nantucket

    Who mixed up his inks in a bucket.

    The colors of ink –

    So many, you’d think

    He’d throw up his hands and say, “Chuck it!”

  • Paul Mirabito

    I went to the dentist today
    He said I had tooth decay
    I said fill it with ink
    Then I spat in the sink
    Now I chew paper all day

  • http://www.facebook.com/jennie.sisler Jennie Sisler

    Two young men named Eric and Dan
    Give away pens whenever they can
    All we send is a letter –
    What could be better?
    It’s why I’m their number one fan!

  • http://twitter.com/bethinoz bethinoz

    Heavens above its a pen!
    Its tiny I see but then
    Take off the cap
    Screw it on back
    Posting for largest of men

  • Alex Hackmann

    Portuguese should I write?
    Or maybe English is alright?
    What chances could I get?
    It doesn’t matter I would bet
    Just the rhyme must be bright!

  • Alex Hackmann

    In Portuguese should I write?
    Or maybe English is alright?
    What chances could I get?
    It doesn’t matter I would bet
    Just the rhyme must be bright!

  • Alex Hackmann

    Como eu queria saber rimar
    Para quem sabe poder ganhar
    Uma caneta que quero ter
    Para muito poder escrever
    Ah, como é bom poder sonhar!

  • Paul Mirabito

    After soaking my pen in the sink
    It was time to select a new ink
    Not knowing that some
    Had turned into gum
    So now I’m writing in pink

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    A writer with fountain pens various
    kept company nice and gregarious
    He didn’t do much
    so through them, as such,
    he lived a life mostly vicarious

  • Potter

    Trying to win were Geeks a plenty
    Almost as many as twenty
    but hard as they might try
    they would all be heard to cry
    Oh no we’ve failed to win a TWSBI

    I just got an Ebay Wearever
    will it increase in value? never
    I will just have to make sure when
    I forget to use it as a pen
    I can try to use it as a tyre lever

  • Ray Heilman

    Great nations with each other warred.
    They pointed their weapons toward
    Each other, and then
    Signed a treaty with pen,
    Thus proving pen mightier than sword

  • The Ruffled Quill

    There was an ebayer called Maud,
    Who committed a most terrible fraud
    To a good friend of mine
    she sold a 1 – 4 – 9
    But when it arrived, Oh Gawd!

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady named Ames
    who was good at playing word games
    using her lipstick
    she wrote an acrostic
    calling her husband strange names

  • ROSS

    TO A FOUNTAIN PEN:
    if you’re a leftie you can’t win
    you’ll be defeated by the pen
    ink you will smudge
    to rigthies you’ll grudge
    and yet another shirt hits the bin

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    The people at Fountain Pen Geeks
    will be running this contest for weeks
    they’ll read and they’ll read
    ’til their eyes start to bleed
    and their brains start to boil and leak

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    I’m churning out limericks galore
    much more than I’ve ever before
    this pen’s motivation
    for structured creation
    of st. patty’s day’s poem du jour

  • Paul Mirabito

    A boy once dreamed of a pen
    He thought he could make it , and then
    He fell a great tree
    Then made a decree
    But didn’t know how in the end.

  • The Ruffled Quill

    Said my poor pen addicted cousin
    I’d steal for a pen of black resin
    To some it is plastic
    but to her twaz fantastic
    but she now writes all her letters from prison

  • Scrawler

    There was a young man from Racine
    who at the tender age of sixteen
    took his pen in his hand
    to write something grand
    but his result was rather obscene

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    A club from south of Westphalia
    once a year host a grand Bacchanalia
    they dance on and off feet
    they eat truckloads of meat
    and they drink till they get echolalia

  • The Ruffled Quill

    There once was a stylologist named Fink
    Who drank all his samples of ink
    All the colors of the spectrum
    Flowed out of his rectum
    But the one he most liked was pink

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    This limerick’s really a bore
    writing it was dolorous a chore
    I want that pen
    but this poem won’t win
    Oh well, that’s what rewrites are for

  • http://twitter.com/dajhek Brent Acuff

    I write with my pens and my inks all the time,
    But the stares and the looks that I get are a crime.

    My students are bold,
    They ask, “Why so old?”
    The don’t understand that their writing is prime.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lou.mccallister Lou McCallister

    There is a young fellow from Milan
    On whom pen orders are pilin’
    He sipped a grape Fanta
    As he crossed off Atlanta
    Knowing that posse aint smilin’.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lou.mccallister Lou McCallister

    We’ve picked on that fellow from Milan
    And we hope that he knows we ARE smilin’
    We’d have to be daft
    To not love his craft
    He’s wanted in Atlanta…keep dialin’!

  • Scrawler

    There once was an apple-cheeked runt
    who braved out the war at the front
    where he wrote some letters
    accusing his betters
    of absconding with girls in a punt

  • The Ruffled Quill

    A pen-loving fellow named Dan
    had a yearn for a pen colored cayenne
    So he called Brian Grey
    Who was sorry to say
    After LA all had was Cyan

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady of Tottenham
    her manners, she’d wholly forgotten ‘em
    While at tea at the vicars
    she took off her knickers
    Exclaiming she felt too hot in ‘em

  • Andreas

    A great chemist had the notion,
    to turn objects to gold with a potion,
    his chemistry set blazed,
    the crowd was amazed!
    His statue captures the scene in motion.

    (Note: Toasted – slang term referring to being drunk)
    There once was a young man who boasted,
    of how much writing he’d done when toasted,
    nine months later he got,
    a shock he never forgot,
    now he remembers to always write posted.

    (In referrance to the month long give away)
    there is a young tortoise in town,
    whose pelikan collection has great renown,
    but the last one he got,
    got covered in snot,
    when he was violently allergic to brown

  • The Ruffled Quill

    There were three garrulous rogues called the Geeks
    Who on Saturday nights did critiques
    of inks, pens and papers
    and other writing capers
    I know I belong to pen cliques

  • Scrawler

    A priest has a vow of discretion
    So I inquired during confession
    who’re better to please
    when down on their knees
    yours or an older profession

  • The Ruffled Quill

    Doc Brown suffers from nib envy they say
    He craves treble broads night and day
    One night playing cribbage
    A maid glimpsed Stephen’s nibbage
    and now with his nibs wants to play!

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    A shepherd who shepherded sheep
    tried to shepherd the sheep in his sleep
    the sheep saw it was safe
    so they made their escape
    in his four-wheel-drive. camouflaged Jeep

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    While the cook cooked a sauce of tomato
    he was hit by a violent tornado
    the dish flew and spun
    and by the time it was done
    it became fettucine alfredo

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady named Rose
    Who did a trick with her toes
    she grasped a pen tight
    and used it to write
    while adopting an elegant pose

  • The Ruffled Quill

    Eric gets restless they say
    To Mexico warm he does stray
    Our Saturdays are less
    for there is no successor
    Jedi we plead don’t overstay

  • The Ruffled Quill

    A cursive hand writer named Tex

    Had a passion for nibs that did flex
    While writing some lines
    Lent too hard on his tines
    And now to Nib miesters writes checks

  • Antonio R

    It is easily said I’m no writer
    Darn! I dropped my nice pen–dumb blighter!
    It bent my fine nib
    That sure ain’t a fib
    Now my Waterman kinks to the right-er

  • Scrawler

    A young man with eyesight myopic
    wrote rhymes on every topic
    but his nib was so fine
    when he wrote down a line
    the letters were just microscopic

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    We’re fighting it out with our verse
    for the limerick champion’s purse
    we’ll spar with our pens
    ’til this contest ends
    and one wins for better or worse

  • Scrawler

    A disgusting young man from McGill
    made his neighbors exceedingly ill
    by writing lewd verse
    full of malice and worse
    he recited it loud on the hill

  • ArtPen

    There once was a lady from Bisbee,

    A pro in competitive frisbee –

    Then fountain pens found her;

    Inks now surround her

    And she speaks of nothing but TWSBI!

  • Scrawler

    There was a young girl named Louise
    who felt pleasure with every sneeze
    she thought it was nice
    to buy pepper and spice
    and snuff when she wishes to tease

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    a culinarily skilled invalid
    serves a world famous dish made of squid
    the dish so amazes
    it leaves tasters in dazes
    and it only costs five or six quid

  • dabrez

    There once was a man from Nantucket
    When he posted his pen he would suck it
    Though he never would chew
    What ever you do
    Don’t use a pen from his pocket.

  • Narwhals Wed on Facebook

    To fly like a bird or a kite
    eludes me so, try as I might
    I take off from the ground
    for higher, I’ve found,
    delivers a terrible fright

  • Link School

    At McDonalds I giggle with glee
    When climbing the playground for free
    While chugging my drink
    I have to rethink
    My decision ‘cause I have to pee

  • Link School

    My horse really does like to nay
    He is also quite fond of hay
    His mane is wild
    He acts like a child
    He likes to get in a fray

  • Link School

    there once was a man with a chain
    he walked with a stick as a cane
    it wasn’t a pug
    that gave him a tug
    for it was a mighty great dane

  • Link School

    my British friend claims that France sucks
    he says their opinions just flux
    he hates them so bad
    that his heart is clad
    with detest that constantly ups

  • Link School

    There once was a man named Eric,
    Who was a vicious old cleric.
    “If it’s not too hard,”
    Asked Barry the Bard.
    “Please, don’t beat my son with that stick.”

  • Link School

    There once was a beanstalk so tall
    It meant for the poor kingdom’s fall
    It started with beans
    So simple it seems
    Now cutting it down is king’s call

  • Link School

    There once was a chick with a block
    He wanted to learn some good talk
    So determined was he
    He started to squeak
    Just then it evolved to a squawk

  • Link School

    There once was an English white guy.
    Who went to the U.S. but why?
    He hoped there would be,
    “A tea good for me!
    As if it’s not black I might cry.”

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady named Hall
    Wore a newspaper dress to a ball
    The dress caught on fire
    and burned her entire
    front page, sporting section, and all

  • Link School

    Whenever I wake and must rise
    The voice in my head always cries:
    No no no no no
    No no no no no
    I refuse to open my eyes.

  • Link School

    When traveling you often find
    How much you have been very blind
    By leaving your home
    Determined to roam
    You understand better mankind

  • Link School

    A lim’rick she told me to write.
    A cynic, I write it despite
    My hate for old rhymes.
    It turns out quite fine,
    But still I write poems with spite.

  • Link School

    She thought I could write these few lines
    But simple has not come to mind
    Stray words have filled space
    When there is no place
    These limericks make my teeth grind

  • ArtPen

    I once had a bottle of ink –
    A beautiful blue Parker Quink.
    I reached for my glass,
    But drank ink – alas!
    The whole thing was gone in one drink!

  • Scrawler

    There once was a girl at the Ritz
    who made a spectacle out of her bits
    first she vajazzled
    then she bedazzled
    her friends by doing the splits

  • Gary Linn

    I had Skrip in my beautiful Parker,
    But I wanted an ink that was darker,
    I’ve since ruined my sink,
    Trying to clean out India Ink,
    And now I have to write with a marker.

  • Gary Linn

    There are so many fountain pens to try,
    But I’m not a wealthy guy,
    There’s no pen shops near,
    And postage’s so dear,
    So I just stare at their websites and cry.

  • Gary Linn

    I want to join the Fountain Pen Geeks,
    I write to them every week,
    They never reply,
    I’m still game to try,
    So what sort of bribes do they seek?

  • Gary Linn

    To win a mini I must write a limerick,
    But the rhymes are too hard for me to stick,
    The rhythm is rough,
    And for me it’s too tough,
    To make this stupid thing fit the pattern with all that AABBA nonsense that I have completely forgotten from highschool anyway and is it supposed to be iambic pentameter or is that just Shakespeare and what about meter? What is meter anyway other than approximately 3 feet? Speaking of feet, I need new boots, winter boots are probably on sale this time of year don’t you think?… Wait… what???

  • Scrawler

    Schrodinger’s quantum mechanical cat
    lazed in a box, growing fat
    until an owl with a pen
    poked holes in it, then
    opened it and found only a scat

  • Scrawler

    In London a linguist most cunning
    astonished the girls with his punning
    his quickness of tongue
    caused the close and far flung
    desiring more to come running

    • Scrawler

      nuts – I wrote this too quickly I intended “tickled” as the first word second line not “astonished”.

  • http://www.madkane.com Madeleine Begun Kane

    Just imagine a job that would pay
    Us to sit and write poems all day:
    If that’s all that we did
    For our buck or our quid,
    Would we have something worthy to say?

  • http://www.madkane.com Madeleine Begun Kane

    A man may end up in a cell
    Cuz his parking permit had a tell:
    There was one extra letter
    In “parking.” It’s better
    When forging to learn how to spell.

  • http://www.madkane.com Madeleine Begun Kane

    My muse is a force elemental.
    It can come on quite strong, or be gentle.
    When it’s gone, my mood’s black:
    Will it ever come back?
    Must I go about finding a rental?

  • http://www.madkane.com Madeleine Begun Kane

    Just imagine a job that would pay

    Us to sit and write poems all day:

    If that’s all that we did

    For our buck or our quid,

    Would we have something worthy to say?

  • Scrawler

    A woman once told me that size
    is not the main quality prize
    but how you use it with flex
    when writing the cheques
    that pay for her favoured supplies

  • ahernk

    My wife said last night I would keep
    Telling stories when counting the sheep
    I said many things
    From Lord of the Rings
    ‘Cuz I was Tolkien in my sleep

  • ahernk

    The ink drop expressed grumpily
    Her wish to escape and be free
    “I truly have been
    Too long in the pen
    The sentence is too long for me”

  • Sheryl C

    The young fountain pen, feeling amorous,

    entreated the she-pen, quite glamorous,

    “Shall we dine? Share some wine?

    Perhaps lie tine to tine?”

    “Me?!” said she “With you? How preposterous!”

  • Scott

    Tortoises are allergic to gum.
    If eaten their voice will go mum.
    Their mouths stick together;
    No talking forever,
    But will sing because they can still hum!

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady called Duff
    with a lovely luxuriant muff
    a place for the fingers
    warmth where it lingers
    and stops the cold from making hands rough

  • http://twitter.com/ThruYa Markus

    An oft disagreeable waiter
    Found his arguments making him later.
    Said his boss, “It’s a crime,
    You’d have far more spare time,
    Were you not such a master debater.”

  • Scrawler

    My Canadian girl has a beaver
    That’s why I can not leave her
    because if I try
    it’ll bite and I’ll cry
    it has teeth in it like a cleaver

  • Scrawler

    The national foods of Mexico
    will make you hasten when you go
    if you eat the beans
    or local greens
    you will leave tracks if you are slow

  • Scrawler

    insouciant but upright young Dennis
    hasn’t a clue what his pen is
    he tried to stroke it
    to push it and poke it
    then spattered his balls playing tennis

  • Scrawler

    On Halloween Jenny from Crewe
    slathered her face with some glue
    then stuck on some leather
    two horns and a feather
    masquerading as what I’ve no clue

  • Scrawler

    On the plains of North-Central Tibet
    They’ve thought of the strangest thing yet
    On the hump of a camel
    they spray blue enamel
    and dip quills in it while it’s still wet

  • Scrawler

    Though Fatima hid in a burka
    on a street corner she would lurka
    and lift up the hems
    revealing her gems
    to the delight the passing Gurkha

  • Scrawler

    A physicist from Novorossiysk
    felt photonic velocity too brisk
    to slow down this action
    he used a Lorentz contraction
    and forshortended his nose to a disk

  • Scrawler

    Let me tell you of Annie from Tweed
    the girl with a peculiar need
    she would open her throat
    while writing a note
    and suck ink right out of the feed

  • Scrawler

    Two nudists named Roger and Pete
    danced in the snow and the sleet
    but one chilly December
    they froze every member
    and retired to a monastic retreat

  • Scrawler

    My professor of English was shrewd
    usually careful to never seem rude
    but when out for a beer
    at girls he would leer
    making jokes that were lurid and lewd

  • Scrawler

    There was a young man from Kilgore
    when speaking at length was a bore
    when served an injunction
    he had no compunction
    in causing the poor judges to snore

  • http://www.facebook.com/dtlim Den Lim

    Inside FPGeeks, a decree,
    you’re giving away a Mini,
    a couple of days went,
    a few thousand words spent,
    and this became my first entry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dtlim Den Lim

    FPGeeks, this is my review.
    A website, too good to be true.
    Awesome reviews and more,
    Great giveaways galore!
    Yes, I am sucking up to you.

  • Paul Mirabito

    A couple both deaf and dumb,
    Went to farm to pick some plums.
    They made preserves,
    and ate horderves.
    They lived life happier than some.

  • Paul Mirabito

    A man went to get at tattoo
    They filled him with Bay State Blue
    He’d have it for life
    End up losing his wife
    But now has a girlfriend or two

  • Paul Mirabito

    One night while out in the park,
    Met a girl who walked around stark.
    I looked on in shame,
    Then asked her her name.

    In a deep voice she said it was Mark.

  • Scrawler

    The beautiful goddess named Venus
    the most alluring of celestial genus
    caused strong men to faint
    when they lost all restraint
    due to insufficiency venous

  • Scrawler

    Young Mary a scholar from Rhodes
    occupied herself kissing toads
    each time she would wince
    but still hoped for a prince
    even though of those there aren’t loads

  • Scrawler

    In the sixties during the great race
    Gagarin took a fountain pen up into space
    when he needed to note
    around it would float
    and squirt ink all over the place

  • Scrawler

    A certain young man of St. Paul
    accented his speech with a drawl
    this quaint predilection
    required some flexion
    but impressed no others at all

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady named Rose
    who could write with a pen in her toes
    to turn such a trick
    she used no magic
    she just removed her shoes and her hoes

  • Scrawler

    The Rajah of Afghanistan
    imported his ink in a can
    he sat on his throne
    and dipped in his bone
    to write out his national plan

  • Scrawler

    Feeling sick, Quite unwell?
    Suffering from doggerel?
    Are your ribs sore?
    Hurt more and more?
    read some more to make you yell!

  • Scrawler

    As a kid I sat in a box
    with kitty and owl eating lox
    when kitty, she howled
    upon finding owl’s fouled
    horrid odoriferous socks

  • Scrawler

    On holiday the Duchess of Porter
    passed on a pen to her daughter
    to write the postcards
    that conveyed her regards
    to the staff in her servants quarter

  • Scrawler

    There was once an author named Jock
    who when beset by bad writers block
    fills up with whiskey
    despite being risky
    until he’s inspired, writes schlock

  • http://theinkednib.com/ Lee Smallwood

    A young man spilled all his ink
    He quickly rushed right to the sink
    In the bathroom was Dee
    Taking a great big pee
    Said Dee all that for a peak?

  • MrMiller

    I tried to write a letter in the tub,
    but nothing expelled from my stub.
    A dry patch, a hard start,
    I thought it’d be smart,
    To give my nib a vigorous rub!

  • Paul Mirabito

    I bought a nice pen on eBay!
    I got it the very next day.
    All scratched with a ding
    No nib said the king
    The seller had nothing to say!

  • Paul Mirabito

    I have fountain pen ink in my veins
    I don’t know what it has done to my brains
    I’m one of a few
    With a bright orange hue
    The old town professor explains

  • Scrawler

    a popular fellow was Glick
    because his nib was so slick
    he got right to the point
    when the tip he’d anoint
    with a luxurious lick

  • Scrawler

    There was a young lady Maxine
    who was obsessively clean
    she wore a fresh bib
    while inking the nib
    then she would actively preen

  • Scrawler

    I have a friend, a Canuck
    in spring he liked to hunt duck
    he fell off his scooter
    and damaged his shooter
    now he is just has no luck

  • Scrawler

    My sorrowful friend name of Dick
    has a diminutive prick
    it’s in his right hand
    his nib poked him and
    its really more of a nick

  • Scrawler

    A fickle young chef from Mauritius
    could make any old meat taste delicious
    but the officer said
    after his wife had fled
    Those lumps in your stew look suspicious

  • Scrawler

    The pants of the author Mark Twain
    were known for sporting a stain
    it’s not what you think
    it really is ink
    because his pen is leaking again

  • Schweibie

    A young man loved a beautiful Venus,
    Who was perfect, except for her penis;
    Though she claimed, “It’s alright,
    “I’m a hermaphrodite,”
    He said, “Sorry, it’s… standing between us!”

  • Paul Mirabito

    A Konrad from Noodler’s was scratchy
    My appreciation of it was patchy
    On the pen I nearly quit
    A vintage nib I got to fit
    Now I renamed my Konrad, Apache!

  • Alexi

    Some men buy big and expensive pens,
    Pens which don’t quite fit their hands.
    It seems rather blate
    The way they compensate
    For what they lack in their pants.

  • Alexi

    I met a young lass in a pleated skirt,
    She looked at my Pelikan with great interest.
    She fondled and bobbed
    My pen and its knob
    Before long my nib began to squirt.

  • Alexi

    Last night I bought me a drink and a lady,
    And cracked some skulls with my trusty shillelagh.
    I fought and I humped
    As I guzzled my rum
    When I am drunk I am almighty.

  • snedwos

    The choices that face all us geeks
    Stub or italic? Oblique?
    Anything flexy’ll
    Make handwriting sexy
    A pen for each day of the week!

    A panic befell us when Eric
    Disappeared for months down in Mexic’
    “Oh, where did he go?”
    Is what we all want to know
    We sincerely hope he is not sick (of us).

    Partial to big pens is our Dan
    A product of the size of his hands?
    His passion for ink
    And pens makes us think
    That his baby will also be a fan!

    The Netherlands should be really proud
    Of their favourite son, who has wowed
    The tubes with with his series
    of videos, but serious-
    Ly, the chanting can get kinda loud!

    Tim joined Daniel Stephen and Eric
    His cartoons have us in hysterics.
    His witty vignettes
    Are not hard to get
    But they’re sometimes just plain esoteric!

    And now I’m all but out of time
    And I’m struggling to find a good rhyme
    For ´paper´ in my head
    I am so sorry, Ed!
    To omit you would be such a crime!

    Azizah blogs on pens and kittens
    By her Eversharp Doric I was smitten.
    Enamoured, disarmed!
    By its Art Déco charms
    I have gone on to read all she’s written!

    These are the fountain pen Geeks
    Whose broadcasts so brighten our week
    And as for those losers
    The ballpoint pen users
    Can they bear an existence so bleak?

  • Mycroft

    Oh what a beautiful seen I see
    Pelikans everywhere, across the sea
    Was trying to catch one,
    But the keeper saw me run.
    He said, “Let my Pelikans be.”

  • Misty

    So who won? Where was the result posted?