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Morgaine
March 5th, 2015, 04:56 PM
No, not questions why the forum disappeared but that does have a little to do with this.... There used to be a reasonable messageboard forum thing for penpalling, but it has closed down. It had a place to discuss topics within the penpalling/letter writing world, but nothing has really filled the gap. This board has been the best so far (OK, there are groups on Facebook but not easy to navigate like this forum with sections...). InCoWriMo has been a great success and there are people with questions relating to correspondence but with nowhere online I can see for these to be discussed. I said to myself I would not start a forum (I did look a few hours ago, also seen the spam on an unmanaged forum) but am wondering if anyone else would, or whether I could run something on my blog as somewhere to address questions and general problems.

Nashtah
March 5th, 2015, 05:20 PM
I think the problem is that few people are into pen paling and at this point a lot of people are worried about pen pal forums being filled with scams or prisoners. (This forum is lacking in both) When I was looking for pen pal forums last year what I mainly located was for email pen pals. Most people don’t see the point or don’t feel they have the money for sending letters. There are the writing clubs such as letter writing alliance, extraordinary pen pals, the very old magazine for pan pal adds (which I have forgotten the name of), and others as all I listed are from America. I think a lot of it has to do with fear of posting your address in a public place online and what can be done with it at that point by those of evil intentions. Also forum size has a lot to do with the lack of pen pal forum for a forum to do well you need at least 100 very active members and another 500 less active member. Those looking for pen pals for writing letters are not always interested in the online forum as they are looking for the written letter. Also people have a higher trust that people which pay to join pen pal groups to write in reply.

DPWilkens
March 5th, 2015, 05:21 PM
Although this subforum is labelled InCoWriMo, I feel that it covers year-round correspondence too. The "Did you correspond today?" and "year round" threads are active for pen pals in general. I agree though, it would be cool to have an entire forum devoted to letter writing, not just in the fountain pen user world. When I was casting about last year for more correspondants, I found a "match maker" service for pen pals that had been around since before the Internet, but no big forums like these.

Nashtah
March 5th, 2015, 05:23 PM
DPWilkens
Could you post the name of that penpal service if you know it?

Morgaine
March 5th, 2015, 05:31 PM
There are "plenty" of sites to find penpals (whether successful or not, however InCoWriMo is among the best), but I am concerned with discussions about the whole thing - the facebook group I am in - covers sent/received, people giving up penpalling, how do you open your letters?, stamps, "Do you use to reply all the questions you pen pals ask in their letters or is it usual for your to skip answering the questions?", introductions, birthdays, transgender issues (apparently, some people feel uncomfortable continuing correspondence with one...)... The themes (apart from the last one) come up time and time again on that group and it gets "boring" and there's no easy way to check back (took me about an hour to go back a full year). Here, we have pens, paper, inks...

Nashtah
March 5th, 2015, 06:14 PM
I know that extraordinary pen pals forum is say to be full of that type of information.
As for discussion most likely feel that facebook is good enough or have never found a good forum so live. I found forums that tried to do that but they lacked people so died.

DPWilkens
March 6th, 2015, 09:45 AM
DPWilkens
Could you post the name of that penpal service if you know it?

I suspect it was IPF (http://usa.ipfpenfriends.com/) but I can't seem to find the exact one. There's also extraordinarypenpals.com (http://www.extraordinarypenpals.com/). I think both charge a fee or subscription, which helps maintain the list and keep out spammers or trolls.

measi
March 6th, 2015, 03:23 PM
The League of Extraordinary Penpals (linked above) is a great group and is on Facebook. Lots of activity. They do charge a fee per year, which does help keep the crazies out. It's a very good group of people. I definitely recommend them.

mailartist
March 7th, 2015, 06:13 AM
Even though Postcrossing focuses on postcard exchanges, the site does have a thread where these types pen pal issues are discussed. It seems most successful for FAQs ("Can Postcrossing give me the address for someone I sent a postcard to before?" Answer: "No. You can PM the person directly and ask for their address, but they don't have to give it to you.") For longer issues, I often find the threads there diffuse and monopolized.

In talking about the InCo 2015 experience, a recent correspondent observed that the average InCo writer seemed (a) older and (b) professional. In other words, nostalgic and middle-aged (roughly) and in occupations such as lawyer, scientist, pastor, technical writer, artist, teacher. Also, that the focus on 28 handwritten letters selects out the email-only crowd, and that fountain pens are probably not a hobby for those who live hand-to-mouth, or who shunt every last penny to the newest video game.

NOT THAT ANNUAL INCOME RELATES, per se, to pen pal abilities, but snail mail and pen pals require patience, delayed gratification, and tolerant tact (i.e., civility), especially when a letter appears curt or offensive (the writer may have intended it to be so, or maybe not. It never hurts to send a follow-up "Did you really mean what I think you mean?" just to make sure, before unloading on a person with all verbal guns).

People who have slogged through college degrees have learned one critical thing, however -- TO WORK -- and that's what I found with InCo, that is missing in sites with other demographics. Lots of folks today are into instant social gratification . . . and snail mail is NOT that. So while the idea of a mailbox full of snail mail may seem intriguing, folks lose interest in "attention deficit" fashion when letters don't materialize immediately. Establishing good pen pal relationships takes time, and some people don't realize that.

The focus on handwritten letters (which are one-of-a-kind and unique), as well as fountain pens, does preserve a more writerly community here. However, as time marches on and sites grow, there's a likelihood of finding all types here, as well as anywhere else.

Sailor Kenshin
March 7th, 2015, 08:12 AM
Pen palling isn't all that 'dead.' I used to get a PRINTED penpal quarterly. If I could only remember the name, I think they also have a web presence. It was very well-managed.

Might have been The Letter Exchange.

ThriveToScribe
March 8th, 2015, 01:03 AM
Pen palling isn't all that 'dead.' I used to get a PRINTED penpal quarterly. If I could only remember the name, I think they also have a web presence. It was very well-managed.

Might have been The Letter Exchange.



Yes, they are still active. It's an annual membership and worth it. I enjoy reading the print magazine but they have a website:

The Letter Exchange - Connecting Snail Mail Pen Pals Since 1982 (http://letter-exchange.com/)



~~~Thérèse

raibtoffoletto
March 10th, 2015, 01:47 PM
If you are concerned,
one idea is to write your address in a piece of paper and take a picture to post here,
this way the search engines won't read it and index it...
is an extra security measure and you still can share your address with us.

Morgaine
April 9th, 2015, 04:31 PM
I am not sure if I will be discussing this topic over in a Facebook group next month - "Please, notice that not filling in the questionnaire will mean that you will be removed from the group (no exceptions)"
As for the Postcrossing penfriendship/penpals section, there is only one thread for discussions. At least that thread is easier to follow than stuff on a Facebook group.