View Full Version : The dreams dream 1

March 13th, 2016, 07:40 PM
They say that recurring dreams can foretell the future but I hope that is just a folk tale. The dreams have come in waves, each heralding something great. They began long long ago in a land far far away but continue to haunt my sleep. Each of the dreams is more horrific than the previous and thus you have been warned, read on only if you understand the risk you face. And face it is exactly what happens, and I am shattered by the memories.

The first begins with a lottery ticket that I find, wet and stuck to the pavement and for that nights drawing. I don't buy lottery tickets and usually would not even stoop to pick one up but I stepped on this one, slipped and twisted my ankle. By dinner time my ankle was so swollen and painful all I could do was sit at home with the TV. The news that night was all about some lucky local person having all the numbers so I pulled the ticket out to find that my ticket had all the numbers. The person who had originally bought that ticket had picked the exact numbers in the exact sequence.

The jackpot was $10,000,000.00 (yes, ten million dollars) and all I had to do was go down to the local theater come next Saturday night and present the ticket to collect my winnings.

That night I could not sleep at all, feeling so guilty since I had not picked the winning numbers but I could not think of anyway I could find the original buyer to give the ticket back. All I thought about was that poor person, someone who knew they had picked the winning numbers but lost the ticket and how unfair life could be. Day after day until the night of the ceremony I suffered bangs of guilt, could not eat or sleep, snapped at even kindly strangers that seeing my limp opened doors for me or allowed me to go ahead of them in line. What if the money was needed to provide medical care for their loved ones or an education for their children?

I made up my mind; I would give it all to charity and hope the good was enough to offset that persons loss.

Our town was pretty small and I still was unable to drive since my cars were always manual shift. My ankle was not quite as swollen but I still could not get a shoe on. I called for a cab from the next town over and figured I would be justified in at least using part of the payout for transportation expenses. When I gave the cabby the address he said that traffic there had been murder, it was like the whole world was going to the ceremony. Of course the grand prize was not the only prize and it was the biggest thing to happen locally since Maybell's cat had that two tailed kitten, so a crowd would be normal, but when we got there it did look like the whole world had come.

Since there was no room inside the theater the police were directing folk out onto the square and the fields where the Fire Department Fair was held each summer. Big trucks with loud speakers on them sat on the sides to broadcast the event and a big podium had been set up right where the French Fry booth would stand. Since I would need to get a ride home I asked the cabby to wait and take me back after I got my money.

Eventually the mayor stood up and called for quiet. He had an important announcement; it seemed more than one person had chosen the winning combination it seemed.

In fact twenty million people had bought tickets with that very same number and so each winning ticket would get exactly fifty cents.

And they would hand out the winnings in alphabetical order by last name.

And my last name starts with an "R".

And I told the cabby, "Let's try to beat the rush and leave now."

And because I could still barely hobble along, we didn't.

March 14th, 2016, 05:41 PM
ha! Clemensesque! thanks jar.

April 1st, 2016, 10:13 AM
I was asked if I would be willing to act as one of the judges at an annual BBQ cook-off. Now who in their right mind could turn down a weekend of beer and BBQ, as much or as little as I wanted, with folk begging to serve me the best examples they can produce and all for free? Well, I gleefully agreed even though it did mean a five hour drive each way; jess next door down here is always a five hour drive away.

The list arrived with some general information; there would be teams from Maryland (ah, the memories of Maryland Volunteer Fire Department Bull Roasts) as well as Georgia and both Carolinas (man, pork BBQ at it's best prepared four different ways, jess smoked pulled pork, vinegar based, some kinda red sauce and South Carolina's Mustard based), Kansas (some of the best Baby Back Ribs I ever tasted) as well as from Texas & Oklahoma (beef done over Mesquite, ribs and brisket fo shur). There was supposed to be teams coming from California and from Colorado but what do they know about BBQ (maybe something fowl)?

I left and drove north arriving the Friday night before the first round of tastings that was scheduled for Saturday. There was a reception where all the judges got to meet and greet and then a dinner where the teams were introduced.

And that's where things went South.

It seems there had been a mix up and it would not be BBQ we were gonna judge but rather Menudo, Chitlins and Haggish.

Some weekends cannot end soon enough.

April 1st, 2016, 04:14 PM
Haggish. Is that one of those things you slice with a claymore?