For Fun: Ebay Auction Translations! (Or those crazy sellers)

[tandaina]

OK. We keep mentioning whacky Ebay auctions. So share stuff you see a lot. Here are things I see constantly that drive me insane and my "translations."

1. Rare!
- Translation: If you search there are currently 450 of these pens selling on ebay, all described as rare.
2. Vintage!
- Translation: Broken and crusted with dirt and grime.
3. I'm not a pen expert...
- Translation: I'm trying to take you for a ride...
4. Works, needs ink.
- Translation: I have no idea what I'm talking about.
5. Other than X, great shape!
- Translation: Has been run over by a tank.


Add yours. ;)

[mhosea]

Pictures are part of the description.
Translation: I think I might see a few things that I'm hoping you won't notice.

[Jeph]

From my <random older relative>’s <random personal space>
Translation: Modern Chinese crap

Anything with a question mark in the title or description
Translation: “I am lying”

“Piston moves”
Translation: Barrel is cracked

Function not tested
Translation: 1) It is crap I found and am selling it as is trying to find a sucker
2) I tried to make it look better and now it is FUBAR

Explanation of no refunds longer than description
Translation: Walk away

Fuzzy picture
Translation: I am hiding the faults
(often used in conjunction with mhosea’s “pictures are part of the description”)

For parts
Translation: There are no reclaimable parts left

[85AKbN]

Tracking no can be check real-time online using this website : www.speedpost.com.sg or www.fedex.com.sg
translation: huh? :)

[Wile E Coyote]

Condition as shown in photos. (Usually accompanied by fuzzy pictures)
Translation: It's in such poor condition, words can't describe it.

It would be perfect for a restoration project.
Translation: Needs nib, feed, cap and filling system.

[pengeezer]

Condition as shown in photos. (Usually accompanied by fuzzy pictures)
Translation: It's in such poor condition, words can't describe it.

It would be perfect for a restoration project.
Translation: Needs nib, feed, cap and filling system.

Condition as shown in photos
Translation: I have poor camera skills and don't want to take the time to learn. I also don't want to spend time
taking more pics


John

[lisantica]

Fun topic!
I've seen:

Please message me before you buy.
I don't even know the translation as I've never messaged anyone with this comment.

Found at an estate sale.
Possible translation: Yard sale find bought as a bundle for $1.00

Rare as hens teeth.
Translation: not sure except some hens have lots of teeth.

[spotted and speckled]

Condition as shown in photos
Translation: I have poor camera skills and don't want to take the time to learn. I also don't want to spend time
taking more pics


John[/QUOTE]

Especially one particular seller, who has been selling pens longer than I have been buying (10+ years), in every single auction he puts up: "Please excuse the pictures, still trying to get the hang of it."

[ChrisC]

One of my favorites for Montblanc's

"Pen will ship promptly from our warehouse in China"

i think this doesn't even merit a translation....

[pengeezer]

One of my favorites for Montblanc's

"Pen will ship promptly from our warehouse in China"

i think this doesn't even merit a translation....

What??? You didn't know that MB had an Asian division? :)


John

[tandaina]

Hah! Yes: "100% Authentic" pretty much means "totally fake, but I don't think you can tell."

[pajaro]

"The pictures are the documentation." for a buy-it-now of a Cross Townsend, 2 pics of pen capped.

Emailed the seller "Does this have a nib?" "Oh yeah, forgot."

[tandaina]

"The pictures are the documentation." for a buy-it-now of a Cross Townsend, 2 pics of pen capped.

Emailed the seller "Does this have a nib?" "Oh yeah, forgot."

I did that once and got "What's a nib?" :shocked:

[pengeezer]

"The pictures are the documentation." for a buy-it-now of a Cross Townsend, 2 pics of pen capped.

Emailed the seller "Does this have a nib?" "Oh yeah, forgot."

I did that once and got "What's a nib?" :shocked:

It's something New In (the)Box. :)


John

[pajaro]

"The pictures are the documentation." for a buy-it-now of a Cross Townsend, 2 pics of pen capped.

Emailed the seller "Does this have a nib?" "Oh yeah, forgot."

I did that once and got "What's a nib?" :shocked:

It's something New In (the)Box. :)


John

It is if you are talking about model trains. Then NIB has a different meaning.

I was amused. The seller then sent me a pic and I bought the pen. I had forgotten what a big pen the Townsend is.

[pengeezer]

"The pictures are the documentation." for a buy-it-now of a Cross Townsend, 2 pics of pen capped.

Emailed the seller "Does this have a nib?" "Oh yeah, forgot."

I did that once and got "What's a nib?" :shocked:

It's something New In (the)Box. :)


John

It is if you are talking about model trains. Then NIB has a different meaning.

I was amused. The seller then sent me a pic and I bought the pen. I had forgotten what a big pen the Townsend is.



Knew what NIB meant.......was just trying to be humorous........


John

[raging.dragon]

Vintage: (alternate translation) any new old stock pen, especially one less than a decade old.

[kaisnowbird]

"Great addition to any collection!" (emphasis added)

Translation:
"Sorry addition to that drawer full of overpriced mediocrities."

[mrcharlie]

"Great addition to any collection!" (emphasis added)

Translation:
"Sorry addition to that drawer full of overpriced mediocrities."
"Great addition to any collection!" (emphasis edited)
Not in working order, but looks nice.