I can categorically confirm that the standard is inconsistent and FPN moderators do not all behave in the same manner. It definitely varies by who the moderator is. I can give an example that happened to me a couple of years ago now.
I replied in response to an incorrect statement in a FPN thread that 'PIF's only happen on FPN'. Then I received a PM from a moderator saying that some posts had been hidden and that I should 'not come on FPN talking about other forums'. I sent a reply apologising that I thought I was merely remarking on an inaccuracy. That moderator then issued me with a warning for arguing with a moderator. When I PM'd Wim, he confirmed that the decision was harsh and I should not have been given a warning, but by the time he got around to removing it, it had already gone. (It was over Christmas and New Year)
Recently, I apparently asked something that someone didn't like, and was PM'd by a different moderator, just to say some posts had been deleted. No big deal or anything. I asked that moderator if I might respond, and was advised that was always acceptable. No warning was received from that moderator just for replying to their PM.
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