How far can it go? [presidential race] Who knows. Until then, how about some fiction?

[myu]

I had this crazy dream, where the first presidential debate took place between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. It was a huge media sensation, because Hillary kept dodging Donald, stating it would be a waste of time -- nothing productive would come of it due to Donald's rash behavior.

Well, she finally acquiesced and a debate was scheduled.

[NOTE: THIS IS FICTION!] It was a dream, so there's no transcript. I used a little creativity in reconstructing what I can recall.

SCENE: First presidential debate of 2016. Donald Trump walks in from the right wing (of course) and Hillary from the other side. Both are smiling, waving to the audience, and nodding to the moderators. First moderator addresses Donald Trump and he is given the go for his opening speech.

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TRUMP: Thank you, very much. Thank you. Hillary, I am so glad to see you here. Quite frankly, I didn't think you would come under the circumstances. [pause]

CLINTON: I see. And so I'm supposed to ask what are the circumstances?

TRUMP: Well, it would be the honest thing to do, if you can do it. We all know you have a little problem with honesty, and I'm toning it way down, WAY down. *laughs* But no matter, I'm very grateful you are actually here. Do you know why? I'll tell you why, Mrs. Lying, Cheating, Criminal Hillary Clinton. You have broken laws, laws that have punitive consequences, and corrupt individuals in the US government have been remiss in exercising proper legal action. I am a very responsible man, and where I see irresponsibility within my grasp, I take the charge to correct it. And therefore, I'm exercising my due right as a US citizen to put you under citizen's arrest.

MODERATOR: Mr. Trump, this is completely inappropriate and uncalled for. You will cease--

TRUMP: No, I'm not ceasing anything.

[Two very large men now appear on stage in what appear to be some kind of police-like uniforms and approach Hillary. At this moment, Hillary looks like a deer caught in headlights. Frozen with eyes open wide.]

TRUMP: Hillary Rodham Clinton, you stand accused of perjury and criminal acts against the United States Government--

MODERATOR: Mr. Trump!

CLINTON: [Hillary shakes her head, manages to get some words out.] This is despicable!

TRUMP: AND--and I'm exercising my right to a citizen's arrest. Hillary Rodham Clinton, you are to be taken into custody until such time as a hearing may be granted for your criminal case. I have that right. I HAVE THAT RIGHT.

CLINTON: You have NO authority to undertake this completely illegal and unauthorized action. It's tantamount to kidnapping!

MODERATOR: Mr. Trump, if you do not back off we are calling in the police!

TRUMP: No need -- they are here. MY police! It's over. Hillary Clinton's permission to continue her scandalous and criminal behavior ends here and now. I'm going to be your next president -- there is no other candidate. Hillary is under arrest. Take her away!

[The two burly men step forward and grasp a struggling Hillary by the upper arms.]

CLINTON: Unhand me! You have NO AUTHORITY! SOMEBODY HELP ME!! [the men start dragging her, kicking and screaming, off the stage]

MODERATOR: I'm calling in the police [dialing 911 on his cellphone]. Mr. Trump you'll be under arrest if you don't stop this immediately!

TRUMP: You want to be complicit in allowing Hillary Clinton, a criminal, to roam freely about the public? Be my guest. We can arrest you as well!

[The whole scene quickly descends into tremendous chaos. Audience members supportive of Trump jump in to assist his guards with restraining Hillary. One of them snatches away the phone of the moderator before he can finish making the call.]

TRUMP: *tap, tap* [on the microphone] So. Sorry for that folks, but this was necessary. Nobody else was taking necessary action. I did. I'm a man of action, and you'll see more of this when I'm president. Of course, this was supposed to be a debate, but we all know this wasn't going to go anywhere. I won't waste your time, but will use it productively. That's what I do. We're going to talk about all the great things I'm going to do as pres---

[The microphone at Trump's podium goes dead.]

TRUMP: [shouting] Oh that's nice. Who did that??!! [he lunges over to Hillary's empty podium] *tap, tap* Is this thing on? Good. So as I was--

[The microphone at Hillary's podium goes dead. Trump motions to someone off the stage, who then comes trotting out wearing a black uniform with a hand-held megaphone.]

TRUMP: You see folks? I come prepared. Always. That's how I'll serve as your next commander in chief, always prepared, unlike that weakling Muslim Barack HUSSEIN Obama, who has ties to terrorists.

[By this time there are people running about the audience section, and the moderators are busy chatting with building staff about the uncontrollable situation.]

TRUMP: You moderators there. Yes, you. [one of them looks at Trump] Step up. Let's get this party started. Ask me some questions. Let's not waste any more time. I've got things to do. We're getting down to business.

[The moderator gives a disgusted look at Trump shaking her head from side-to-side.]

TRUMP: OK, so you're a loser, afraid to step up. Who's next? Who is going to man up and ask me some questions? Anyone? No one? OK, well like I said I always come prepared. I have a speech right here [rustles through some papers from his breast jacket pocket].

MODERATOR: [speaking to the camera] Well folks, as you can see, another Trump debacle. This planned presidential debate has turned into chaos. I'm afraid we won't be able to continue the broadcast at this time. Please tune in--

TRUMP: [having seized the opportunity, lunged forward towards the moderator with the camera.] Oh no, you're not getting off that easy! We have a scheduled program here, and we're following through with it--

MODERATOR: Mr. Trump! We've had enough of this!

[Before Trump can say another word, he's caught off guard. A group of 5 policemen have come onto the stage, one of them pointing at Trump.]


And well... you can imagine the rest.