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Thread: Reductionist Job Descriptions

  1. #21
    Senior Member Deb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I used to be a legal secretary which means I lied so that overpaid buffoons could play golf.
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I manipulate the thought processes of the teenage mind related to food and stuff.





    High school agriculture teacher

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  5. #23
    Senior Member VertOlive's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaputnik View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by VertOlive View Post
    ...Now that I'm interning as a funeral director the answer is "We take dead people, put a big smile on their face, and put 'em in a box."
    That got a smile from me, I must admit, although it would not have a year and a half ago when I was making arrangements for my mother. But in a job where almost all your clients are grieving, I can see how you'd have to keep some sense of humor about it.

    In my job, I suppose you could say that I pace around nervously waiting for things to break, and try not to panic when they do. I'm a lead electronics technician at a satellite Earth station, and I do my best to keep us on the air.
    Aw Kaputnik, I'm sorry. No harm was meant. Just my nerdy attempt at humor for the thread.
    "Nolo esse salus sine vobis ...” —St. Augustine

  6. #24
    Senior Member Kaputnik's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by VertOlive View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaputnik View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by VertOlive View Post
    ...Now that I'm interning as a funeral director the answer is "We take dead people, put a big smile on their face, and put 'em in a box."
    That got a smile from me, I must admit, although it would not have a year and a half ago when I was making arrangements for my mother. But in a job where almost all your clients are grieving, I can see how you'd have to keep some sense of humor about it.

    In my job, I suppose you could say that I pace around nervously waiting for things to break, and try not to panic when they do. I'm a lead electronics technician at a satellite Earth station, and I do my best to keep us on the air.
    Aw Kaputnik, I'm sorry. No harm was meant. Just my nerdy attempt at humor for the thread.
    No offense was taken, and I'm sorry in turn if that wasn't clear. It's just that the humor of a situation depends on your perspective.
    "If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly."
    G.K. Chesterton

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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.

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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I ensure that a system of sub-systems meets all given requirements that the final salable system will integrate with...

    Even the simple explanation is ridiculous... hang on...

    I make sure other people are doing their job.
    Sam O

    "A fountain pen with a bad nib is like a Ferrari with a flat tyre..." - Brian Gray, Edison pens

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    Senior Member FredRydr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by View from the Loft View Post
    I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.
    Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?

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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by FredRydr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by View from the Loft View Post
    I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.
    Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?
    Exactly what I was thinking!!!!

  14. #29
    FPG Donor ♕ Chrissy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    My official job-title is now: 'Retired'

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  16. #30
    Senior Member manoeuver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I stand around, crack wise and play air guitar.

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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Job 1: Stock shelves, mow lawn
    Job 2: Blow whistle and tell people they did a bad thing
    Job 3: Cook food
    Job 4: Use magic to turn a crazy idea into a functional product
    Job 5: Make your car vibrate less
    Job 6: Make your car vibrate less, but for more money

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammyo View Post
    I ensure that a system of sub-systems meets all given requirements that the final salable system will integrate with...

    Even the simple explanation is ridiculous... hang on...

    I make sure other people are doing their job.
    Job 7: Make your car perform better by creating one of ^these^ sub-systems
    Last edited by Scooby921; November 9th, 2017 at 10:20 AM.

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  20. #32
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by FredRydr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by View from the Loft View Post
    I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.
    Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?
    No. It's all local, short distance and in the majority of cases pre-planned. I just wish more people would
    a) check before they travel
    b) actually take notice of the posters and real time updates
    c) please refrain from abusing the staff I arrange.

  21. #33
    Senior Member R.A. Stewart's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Hm. I put stuff in a computer to help people find things in libraries. I also lead a team of people who do the same thing and mostly don't need me around.

    In my non-paying job, I arrange words in lines so they sound purty and look more or less profound.
    “We go to the garrick now and become warbs.”--James Thurber

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  23. #34
    Senior Member Dreck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I read and write. Occasionally, I speak with people about making their praxis align with what they profess.
    Online arguments are a lot like the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
    As soon as the audience begins to participate, any actual content is lost in the resulting chaos and cacophony.
    At that point, all you can do is laugh and enjoy the descent into debasement.

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  25. #35
    Senior Member sgtstretch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    I explain how their computer/software works to people.

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  27. #36
    Member JFB's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Among many other things I went to Harvard—10 times a day for 20 seconds at a time.

    I also took large amounts of money, voluntarily given by the citizens of Mass. to the Commonwealth for cheap thrills while occasionally providing staples. I provided protective coverings for cheap and valuable art; installed flexible, colorful vinyl coverings for interior spaces. later I stood around & talked about art, now I sit and control access to art.

    For free I organized dinner groups of grumpy old men and occasional trips—I get to use one of my Esterbrook 8-balls for that one!

    Pax,
    John
    Last edited by JFB; November 20th, 2017 at 04:30 PM.

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  29. #37
    Senior Member Annie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/peachez


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  31. #38
    Senior Member Paddler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    We once had a CEO who stood in front of a roomful of electrical engineers and said, "We must leverage our synergies to maximize the margin on our deliverables."
    "Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little." -Epicurus-

  32. #39
    Senior Member SIR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by Annie View Post
    The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.
    NHS Protect?

  33. #40
    Senior Member Annie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Reductionist Job Descriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by SIR View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Annie View Post
    The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.
    NHS Protect?
    A worthy cause but although I also do some clinical coding for the NHS, this is for private health care.
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/peachez


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