Reductionist Job Descriptions

[Deb]

I used to be a legal secretary which means I lied so that overpaid buffoons could play golf.

[countrydirt]

I manipulate the thought processes of the teenage mind related to food and stuff.





High school agriculture teacher

[VertOlive]

...Now that I'm interning as a funeral director the answer is "We take dead people, put a big smile on their face, and put 'em in a box."

That got a smile from me, I must admit, although it would not have a year and a half ago when I was making arrangements for my mother. But in a job where almost all your clients are grieving, I can see how you'd have to keep some sense of humor about it.

In my job, I suppose you could say that I pace around nervously waiting for things to break, and try not to panic when they do. I'm a lead electronics technician at a satellite Earth station, and I do my best to keep us on the air.

Aw Kaputnik, I'm sorry. No harm was meant. Just my nerdy attempt at humor for the thread.

[Kaputnik]

...Now that I'm interning as a funeral director the answer is "We take dead people, put a big smile on their face, and put 'em in a box."

That got a smile from me, I must admit, although it would not have a year and a half ago when I was making arrangements for my mother. But in a job where almost all your clients are grieving, I can see how you'd have to keep some sense of humor about it.

In my job, I suppose you could say that I pace around nervously waiting for things to break, and try not to panic when they do. I'm a lead electronics technician at a satellite Earth station, and I do my best to keep us on the air.

Aw Kaputnik, I'm sorry. No harm was meant. Just my nerdy attempt at humor for the thread.

No offense was taken, and I'm sorry in turn if that wasn't clear. It's just that the humor of a situation depends on your perspective.

[View from the Loft]

I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.

[Sammyo]

I ensure that a system of sub-systems meets all given requirements that the final salable system will integrate with...

Even the simple explanation is ridiculous... hang on...

I make sure other people are doing their job.

[FredRydr]

I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.

Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?

[BayesianPrior]

I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.

Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?

Exactly what I was thinking!!!!

[Chrissy]

My official job-title is now: 'Retired'

[manoeuver]

I stand around, crack wise and play air guitar.

[Scooby921]

Job 1: Stock shelves, mow lawn
Job 2: Blow whistle and tell people they did a bad thing
Job 3: Cook food
Job 4: Use magic to turn a crazy idea into a functional product
Job 5: Make your car vibrate less
Job 6: Make your car vibrate less, but for more money

I ensure that a system of sub-systems meets all given requirements that the final salable system will integrate with...

Even the simple explanation is ridiculous... hang on...

I make sure other people are doing their job.

Job 7: Make your car perform better by creating one of ^these^ sub-systems

[View from the Loft]

I arrange transport for large numbers of people who often think they will be travelling on a different form of transport.

Do you also pay for the hotel room and meals until we finally depart?

No. It's all local, short distance and in the majority of cases pre-planned. I just wish more people would
a) check before they travel
b) actually take notice of the posters and real time updates
c) please refrain from abusing the staff I arrange.

[R.A. Stewart]

Hm. I put stuff in a computer to help people find things in libraries. I also lead a team of people who do the same thing and mostly don't need me around.

In my non-paying job, I arrange words in lines so they sound purty and look more or less profound.

[Dreck]

I read and write. Occasionally, I speak with people about making their praxis align with what they profess.

[sgtstretch]

I explain how their computer/software works to people.

[JFB]

Among many other things I went to Harvard—10 times a day for 20 seconds at a time.

I also took large amounts of money, voluntarily given by the citizens of Mass. to the Commonwealth for cheap thrills while occasionally providing staples. I provided protective coverings for cheap and valuable art; installed flexible, colorful vinyl coverings for interior spaces. later I stood around & talked about art, now I sit and control access to art.

For free I organized dinner groups of grumpy old men and occasional trips—I get to use one of my Esterbrook 8-balls for that one!

Pax,
John

[Annie]

The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.

[Paddler]

We once had a CEO who stood in front of a roomful of electrical engineers and said, "We must leverage our synergies to maximize the margin on our deliverables."

[SIR]

The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.

NHS Protect?

[Annie]

The job title is Investigative Medical Auditor. I catch bad doctors doing bad things and get rid of them. I catch hospitals doing tests they don't need to do, or say they did and I get the money back.

NHS Protect?

A worthy cause but although I also do some clinical coding for the NHS, this is for private health care.