Happenings at Diamine

[FredRydr]

From yesterday’s Financial Times:

(AP - Liverpool) Bernard Hucetcolorum, managing director of Diamine Specialty Inks, Ltd., announced Thursday that Diamine was no longer producing new inks, adding that Diamine’s laboratory had determined that it and its competitors had, as of November 2017, produced inks in all the colors known to man. “We could release new ink products under new names or in new containers, but they’d really be the same as what has already been on the market, in some cases for decades.” The company has been a fixture in Liverpool since 1864, currently employing 132 at its Aintree facility. Hucetcolorum cited the need to face reality and cut costs to justify the decision to close the company’s R&D department, making redundant all their color specialist employees. Their final work will be winding up the color laboratory archives for transfer to the British Museum. “We are proud of the color accomplishments we’ve made from the 19th to 21st century, and by doing so, we and our ink manufacturing colleagues have produced every color as humanly possible; there are no more.” George Macula, outgoing chief colorist, stated there would be a meeting tonight to discuss appropriate industrial action.

[AzJon]

Huh. I believe them, but huh.

Now if they could just rerelease whatever Chesterfield Antique Copper's formulation was....

[grainweevil]

George Macula, outgoing chief colorist, stated there would be a meeting tonight to discuss appropriate industrial action.

Only working in black and white, perhaps.

[Morgaine]

What about sparkles?

[AzJon]

What about sparkles?

If you get a hold of some very fine ground food-grade mica powder, you can add it to virtually any ink to make it sparkle. Might have to play with ratio to get the level of sparkle you want, but I've had penpals that did this to good effect.

[Sailor Kenshin]

What about sparkles?

If you get a hold of some very fine ground food-grade mica powder, you can add it to virtually any ink to make it sparkle. Might have to play with ratio to get the level of sparkle you want, but I've had penpals that did this to good effect.

I use eyeshadow.

[Dreck]

This isn't a misplaced April 1st announcement, is it?

[welch]

Just what I thought, too.

[penwash]

"we and our ink manufacturing colleagues have produced every color as humanly possible; there are no more"

I can't believe reading this as an official position from a niche manufacturer of continuously-consumable product in which they can just name one same thing differently and it will sell and may instantly became a topic to argue about for inkficionadoes all over the world.

[Dreck]

"we and our ink manufacturing colleagues have produced every color as humanly possible; there are no more"

I can't believe reading this as an official position from a niche manufacturer of continuously-consumable product in which they can just name one same thing differently and it will sell and may instantly became a topic to argue about for inkficionadoes all over the world.

I'm thinking back to the huge Pantone Matching System color book that we used to mix printing press ink. There are a lot of colors visible to humans.

[Fermata]

C'mon guys, look at the MDs name

[Chrissy]

C'mon guys, look at the MDs name

Hucetcolorum and Macula? I tend to agree.

[penwash]

C'mon guys, look at the MDs name

Hucetcolorum and Macula? I tend to agree.

Please translate for us here across the pond who don't see where the funniness began.

[Chrissy]

C'mon guys, look at the MDs name

Hucetcolorum and Macula? I tend to agree.

Please translate for us here across the pond who don't see where the funniness began.

There are no Google results for either Bernard Hucetcolorum or George Macula. The macula is part of the retina that sees colour and "who set colorum" also suggests colour. I think this must be an old April Fools joke.

[AzJon]

C'mon guys, look at the MDs name

Hucetcolorum and Macula? I tend to agree.

D'oh!

Need to get back to Blighty before this Septic loses all of his lexicological wordability.

[grainweevil]

Not conclusive, but given the supposed source you might also consider the spelling of "colourist" to be less than ideal. Certainly hope no-one assumed my comment suggested I was taking this thing as real - while humour in the face of adversity is not alien to me, I wouldn't only joke* about job losses; sympathy would be expressed too!

So, Fred, are you going to tell us what brought this on? Dodgy calendar? Social experiment? Whimsical mood?

*Yes, it was a joke. I don't think anyone noticed though.

[Fermata]

Bernard Hucetcolorum, managing director of Diamine Specialty Inks, Ltd., announced Thursday that Diamine was no longer producing new inks, adding that Diamine’s laboratory had determined that it and its competitors had, as of November 2017, produced inks in all the colors known to man. “We could release new ink products under new names or in new containers, but they’d really be the same as what has already been on the market, in some cases for decades.” The company has been a fixture in Liverpool since 1864, currently employing 132 at its Aintree facility. Hucetcolorum cited the need to face reality and cut costs to justify the decision to close the company’s R&D department, making redundant all their color specialist employees. Their final work will be winding up the color laboratory archives for transfer to the British Museum. “We are proud of the color accomplishments we’ve made from the 19th to 21st century, and by doing so, we and our ink manufacturing colleagues have produced every color as humanly possible; there are no more.” George Macula, outgoing chief colorist, stated there would be a meeting tonight to discuss appropriate industrial action.

To add to what others have already suggested.

1 A well written press release would not use the word they'd

2. Poor English grammar to say they announced Thursday

3. Even worse English grammar to say as what has already been

4. Spelling of the word c o l o r in an English press release

5. Clumsy English of , and by doing so, we and our ink manufacturing colleagues have produced every color as humanly possible; there are no more.” George Macula, outgoing chief

6. The most heinous grammatical crime of all, the misuse of the semi-colon. humanly possible; there are no more


There are other examples but I am even starting to bore myself.

[FredRydr]

I suppose I was in an April 1st mood while looking at the generous number of bottles in my ink box, deciding which and what has to go. I was thinking how silly buying more ink can be with all the constant release of slightly different shades. I'll be dead before I use a quarter of my inks.

As for the article, Fermata has exposed me. It's all mine. The premise came from that old humorous story that, at the end of the 19th century, the US Patent Office was closing because everything that could be invented had been invented. I was aware of some of the cited errors (especially the spelling of "color") and disagree with others, but I had edited the story ad infinitum and it had to go to press. As for the surnames, they are Google-translated Latin: Bernard "hue and colors" and George "stain."

Sorry.

[AzJon]

I suppose I was in an April 1st mood while looking at the generous number of bottles in my ink box, deciding which and what has to go. I was thinking how silly buying more ink can be with all the constant release of slightly different shades. I'll be dead before I use a quarter of my inks.

As for the article, Fermata has exposed me. It's all mine. The premise came from that old humorous story that, at the end of the 19th century, the US Patent Office was closing because everything that could be invented had been invented. I was aware of some of the cited errors (especially the spelling of "color") and disagree with others, but I had edited the story ad infinitum and it had to go to press. As for the surnames, they are Google-translated Latin: Bernard "hue and colors" and George "stain."

Sorry.

That's funny. The first thing that came to mind was the story about the US Patent Office.

And, to be fair, Diamine has 106 inks on their site in the standard line alone.

[Fermata]

I suppose I was in an April 1st mood while looking at the generous number of bottles in my ink box, deciding which and what has to go. I was thinking how silly buying more ink can be with all the constant release of slightly different shades. I'll be dead before I use a quarter of my inks.

As for the article, Fermata has exposed me. It's all mine. The premise came from that old humorous story that, at the end of the 19th century, the US Patent Office was closing because everything that could be invented had been invented. I was aware of some of the cited errors (especially the spelling of "color") and disagree with others, but I had edited the story ad infinitum and it had to go to press. As for the surnames, they are Google-translated Latin: Bernard "hue and colors" and George "stain."

Sorry.

We enjoyed the story Fred, thanks for posting.