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Thread: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

  1. #21
    Senior Member Sailor Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Calamus still needs to step into the spotlight and sing.
    My other pen is a Montblanc.

    And my other blog is a tumblr!


    And my latest ebook, for spooky wintery reading:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM2NGSSD

  2. #22
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sailor Kenshin View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by KKay View Post
    I can't believe you don't have a winner yet for real. I am not interested in BSB, so I am not putting my name in the hat. I usually try away from known inks that stain. (Sargasso Sea being my only real exception)
    We HAD a winner, who never showed up to claim his booby prize....

    Calamus, if you are in the CONUS, open up your MP3 and sing for your doom!
    I had to open my big mouth, didn't I?

    It may take me a couple of days to find a hosting site I can figure out. Should I PM my particulars first, or should I get on the "America's Got No Talent" thing first? I'm in California, which is nominally CONUS, even if it resembles another planet at times.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

  3. #23
    Senior Member Sailor Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sailor Kenshin View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by KKay View Post
    I can't believe you don't have a winner yet for real. I am not interested in BSB, so I am not putting my name in the hat. I usually try away from known inks that stain. (Sargasso Sea being my only real exception)
    We HAD a winner, who never showed up to claim his booby prize....

    Calamus, if you are in the CONUS, open up your MP3 and sing for your doom!
    I had to open my big mouth, didn't I?

    It may take me a couple of days to find a hosting site I can figure out. Should I PM my particulars first, or should I get on the "America's Got No Talent" thing first? I'm in California, which is nominally CONUS, even if it resembles another planet at times.
    Yes, please...send me your postal address.

    Then we can ALL enjoy your rendition of Born Under A Bad Sign.

    Or maybe it should be....Help.
    My other pen is a Montblanc.

    And my other blog is a tumblr!


    And my latest ebook, for spooky wintery reading:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM2NGSSD

  4. #24
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sailor Kenshin View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sailor Kenshin View Post

    We HAD a winner, who never showed up to claim his booby prize....

    Calamus, if you are in the CONUS, open up your MP3 and sing for your doom!
    I had to open my big mouth, didn't I?

    It may take me a couple of days to find a hosting site I can figure out. Should I PM my particulars first, or should I get on the "America's Got No Talent" thing first? I'm in California, which is nominally CONUS, even if it resembles another planet at times.
    Yes, please...send me your postal address.

    Then we can ALL enjoy your rendition of Born Under A Bad Sign.

    Or maybe it should be....Help.
    In a way it's fitting that I should subject you to the sound of my off-key, out-of-tune monotone as a sort of turnabout for the BSB. I think you'll get the worse deal, however. The Pelikan is a fine pen, and BSB is a pretty color, despite its, ahem, less desirable though nevertheless legendary ability to turn everything it touches blue for all eternity. My voice, on the other hand, has been known to make grown men weep, and there's really no upside to it, other than the entertainment value of seeing someone make a damn fool of himself in public. I should warn that there is no false modesty in my description of my singing voice. My cat sings better than I do.

    In any event, I did PM you my address just now.

    I promise I'll make the recording and get it up on this thread, and I will make every effort to get it done within the next two or three days.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

  5. #25
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    It didn't take three days. It didn't even take three hours. I just made myself do it.
    It's bad. It really stinks. You don't want to hear this thing. But if you're determined to suffer, here's the link:
    https://soundcloud.com/user-194172400/pif
    The name of the track is "Pif," as in the name of this sub-forum.
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    By the way — since it's the free version of the hosting site I signed up for, you will be blasted by an ad the instant my song is over, assuming you're masochistic enough to listen to the whole thing. You may not find the ad particularly enjoyable. Be prepared to close the tab FAST!
    Last edited by calamus; July 29th, 2018 at 02:37 AM.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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  7. #26
    Senior Member Scrawler's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    It didn't take three days. It didn't even take three hours. I just made myself do it.
    It's bad. It really stinks. You don't want to hear this thing. But if you're determined to suffer, here's the link:
    https://soundcloud.com/user-194172400/pif
    The name of the track is "Pif," as in the name of this sub-forum.
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    By the way — since it's the free version of the hosting site I signed up for, you will be blasted by an ad the instant my song is over, assuming you're masochistic enough to listen to the whole thing. You may not find the ad particularly enjoyable. Be prepared to close the tab FAST!
    LOL - You deserve this PIF.

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    calamus (July 29th, 2018)

  9. #27
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrawler View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    It didn't take three days. It didn't even take three hours. I just made myself do it.
    It's bad. It really stinks. You don't want to hear this thing. But if you're determined to suffer, here's the link:
    https://soundcloud.com/user-194172400/pif
    The name of the track is "Pif," as in the name of this sub-forum.
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    By the way — since it's the free version of the hosting site I signed up for, you will be blasted by an ad the instant my song is over, assuming you're masochistic enough to listen to the whole thing. You may not find the ad particularly enjoyable. Be prepared to close the tab FAST!
    LOL - You deserve this PIF.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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  11. #28
    Senior Member Wile E Coyote's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    It didn't take three days. It didn't even take three hours. I just made myself do it.
    It's bad. It really stinks. You don't want to hear this thing. But if you're determined to suffer, here's the link:
    https://soundcloud.com/user-194172400/pif
    The name of the track is "Pif," as in the name of this sub-forum.
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    By the way — since it's the free version of the hosting site I signed up for, you will be blasted by an ad the instant my song is over, assuming you're masochistic enough to listen to the whole thing. You may not find the ad particularly enjoyable. Be prepared to close the tab FAST!
    Undeniably worthy of the cursed ink.

  12. #29
    Senior Member Sailor Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Truly a BSB-worthy effort!

    Seriously. We should form a band. The Baystate Blues. We can play pen shows.
    My other pen is a Montblanc.

    And my other blog is a tumblr!


    And my latest ebook, for spooky wintery reading:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM2NGSSD

  13. #30
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    I can play harmonica much better than I can sing! (Of course, that doesn't require enormous talent...)

    We wouldn't have to accept payment in Noodler's ink, would we? I mean, I've got to draw the line somewhere.
    Last edited by calamus; July 29th, 2018 at 09:53 PM.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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  15. #31
    Senior Member FredRydr's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote View Post
    Woo Hoo! I won again!

    I knew I should have played the Powerball.
    First prize is a trip to tour the Bay State Blue mixing vats. Watch your step, and don't put your hand in there.




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  17. #32
    Senior Member Sailor Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    We're having too much fun to mark this 'sold...'

    But the bird is on the wing. People, beware.
    My other pen is a Montblanc.

    And my other blog is a tumblr!


    And my latest ebook, for spooky wintery reading:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM2NGSSD

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  19. #33
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by FredRydr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote View Post
    Woo Hoo! I won again!

    I knew I should have played the Powerball.
    First prize is a trip to tour the Bay State Blue mixing vats. Watch your step, and don't put your hand in there.




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    azkid (July 30th, 2018), calamus (July 30th, 2018), Sailor Kenshin (July 30th, 2018)

  21. #34
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by FredRydr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote View Post
    Woo Hoo! I won again!

    I knew I should have played the Powerball.
    First prize is a trip to tour the Bay State Blue mixing vats. Watch your step, and don't put your hand in there.



    That's absolutely terrifying!!
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

  22. #35
    Senior Member VertOlive's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    Likewise, you will SO be singing the Blues!!!

    "Nolo esse salus sine vobis ...” —St. Augustine

  23. #36
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Apparently, this is what happens when you fill your pen with BSB and you're tired and rub your eyes afterwards. Or maybe she just has blue eyes.
    In any event her fingers tell us that she has undoubtedly filled a pen with BSB within the past two years.

    Last edited by calamus; July 31st, 2018 at 05:54 PM.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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  25. #37
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by VertOlive View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by calamus View Post
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
    Likewise, you will SO be singing the Blues!!!



    thankyoufeatherpen.gif
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    A very heartfelt rendition, Calamus, obviously you and this pen have both been sadly used by life. You deserve each other, hope you can find solace at the bottom of a bottle of De Atramentis Whiskey Brown.

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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Cleaning and filling pens with BSB is best done outside on grass where you’re less likely to destroy floors, counter tops, sinks... a garden hose is also an underappreciate tool for cleaning out pens.

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  30. #40
    Senior Member calamus's Avatar
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    Default Re: World's Worst Pen/Ink PIF!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ma_megabyte View Post
    A very heartfelt rendition, Calamus, obviously you and this pen have both been sadly used by life. You deserve each other, hope you can find solace at the bottom of a bottle of De Atramentis Whiskey Brown.
    Looks quite intoxicating...



    HOWEVER... apparently it is pearlescent. I don't know if I can do that to the Pelikano Junior, after what it's already been through. I think of it as a rescue pen that's been abused and is looking for a loving forever home. I plan to feed it nothing stronger than Waterman Serene Blue, or maybe a little Diamine Havasu Turquoise now and then once it's built its strength back up. As for the BSB, I have some 10-year-old Speedball italic dip pen nibs that should be able to handle it.
    Last edited by calamus; August 3rd, 2018 at 12:43 AM.
    Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur. — Horace
    (What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke’s on you.)

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