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Thread: Taking a break

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by dneal View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Fermata View Post
    As a top contributer to this site and someone that has provided an outstanding resource for others asking for help and assitance it is shameful that any other member can think it is appropriate to be abusive based on a difference of opinion. It is only a matter of days that you and others rallied to the defence of that member when attacked by dneal, some people have very short memories.

    We look forward to the time when you feel that it is time to take an active part in the proceedings.
    Since Chrissy and I have already corresponded privately, I won't feel so bad in this slight hijack.

    You felt it necessary to call me out (which is interesting from a psychological perspective), but you completely missed the irony that the person whose defense was rushed to is precisely the person who prompted this thread. Perhaps I have seen the negative side of the person previously, and you had not.

    Your defense
    Unbelievable. You made a comment about Pteros home country, completely unacceptable and pointless. I, and many others, thought your comment was unacceptable but typical.

    Ptero has since gone on and made derogatory comments about Chrissy and made them public.

    There is no irony.

    People have their own opinion about each of you.




    Quote Originally Posted by dneal View Post

    Dneal

    Pterodactylus - your country is responsible for two world wars. The first because a member of the Austrian aristocracy was assassinated, the second because of an Austrian socialist run amok. The need to intervene in WWII, and global “socialist” ideas, created the current U.S. “world police” (and resulting military budget). You should think before you lecture.

    Fermata

    Good grief.

    Never thought I would read anything like that.

    No country, anywhere, can hold up their head and say 'we are blame free'.

    History is just that, many of us have problems dealing with the present and hoping for the future, let us not look to the past in order to have a weapon to attack others today.

    Especially on here for goodness sake.

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  3. #22
    Senior Member dneal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    And here I thought you had me on ignore... Still, poor form on your part to include me in this.

  4. #23
    Senior Member Lady Onogaro's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    It's so strange--I see people posting as their normal nice, courteous selves in the regular (not Lounge) forums, and it's so enjoyable.

    But in the Lounge, what I see there disturbs me so much. It's like an entirely different person has come out to play--and so I try to avoid those discussions. Maybe all of us should at least consider dropping the use of those forums. What good is coming out of them? If your mind can't or couldn't be changed by whatever evidence is published there, then what's the point? All that is happening is that people are pushing and shouting their views at each other without any chance of any views being changed. It just seems pointless, to me. It's like those left/right discussions of political pundits. If no compromise can be found, then what's the point?

    We have a good community here. I would hate to see it fall even more apart (and I think we have already lost people) because of these kinds of go-nowhere discussions. Look how small the pool of people is who even talk. If Chrissy leaves, it will be even smaller. If VertOlive leaves or Sailor leaves, or I leave, it will be even smaller. So maybe consider giving up those discussions on the coronavirus at this time? Yes, I know that we can avoid the Lounge area, but as others have pointed out, if you click on the What's New? button, it still comes up. And I do think some of the anger/hostility/bad feelings generated in those forums spill over into everything else, or why would Chrissy be leaving and others threatening to do so.

    I just wish you all would consider this. Maybe reach out to each other and assure each other of his or her value to the group. I love coming here at this time to get away from talk of the virus, myself, and it hurts to see people leaving because it.
    Lady Onogaro

    "Be yourself--everybody else is already taken." --Oscar Wilde

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  6. #24
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Onogaro View Post
    It's so strange--I see people posting as their normal nice, courteous selves in the regular (not Lounge) forums, and it's so enjoyable.

    But in the Lounge, what I see there disturbs me so much. It's like an entirely different person has come out to play--and so I try to avoid those discussions. Maybe all of us should at least consider dropping the use of those forums. What good is coming out of them? If your mind can't or couldn't be changed by whatever evidence is published there, then what's the point? All that is happening is that people are pushing and shouting their views at each other without any chance of any views being changed. It just seems pointless, to me. It's like those left/right discussions of political pundits. If no compromise can be found, then what's the point?

    We have a good community here. I would hate to see it fall even more apart (and I think we have already lost people) because of these kinds of go-nowhere discussions. Look how small the pool of people is who even talk. If Chrissy leaves, it will be even smaller. If VertOlive leaves or Sailor leaves, or I leave, it will be even smaller. So maybe consider giving up those discussions on the coronavirus at this time? Yes, I know that we can avoid the Lounge area, but as others have pointed out, if you click on the What's New? button, it still comes up. And I do think some of the anger/hostility/bad feelings generated in those forums spill over into everything else, or why would Chrissy be leaving and others threatening to do so.

    I just wish you all would consider this. Maybe reach out to each other and assure each other of his or her value to the group. I love coming here at this time to get away from talk of the virus, myself, and it hurts to see people leaving because it.
    You are right, the discussions in the lounge got really toxic.

    I apologize if my posts in the lounge harmed anybody (but dneal will stay on my ignore list, I’m done with this user).
    I also got way too emotional in the discussion, much more than I wanted, I will not participate in these threads anymore and focus again on pens and art.

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  8. #25
    Senior Member BlkWhiteFilmPix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    I too will miss your posts and the dignity with which you carry yourself on this forum.

    Stay well.
    Bob

    Paper cuts through the noise – Richard Moross, MOO CEO

    Indiana Jones used a notebook in the map room, not an app.

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Fermata View Post
    Good grief.

    Never thought I would read anything like that.

    No country, anywhere, can hold up their head and say 'we are blame free'.

    History is just that, many of us have problems dealing with the present and hoping for the future, let us not look to the past in order to have a weapon to attack others today.

    Especially on here for goodness sake.
    [/I][/B]
    (digression) Yes, it was bad form and even worse history — though misrepresenting the origins and consequences of both world wars and the nature of Nazism is an achievement of sorts. (/digression)

    ---

    Mainly this:

    Come back, Chrissy! If not for you and posters like you, FPG would just be taciturn lurkers like me and all the worse for it.

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  12. #27
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    I've been watching some of these threads evolve for a while* and would like to offer a generalisation that should be well-known to most people.

    1. In an online discussion, on any subject, those with strong convictions and a passion for arguing their side are the least likely to experience a change of perspective. Not impossible, not very likely.
    2. Heated online discussions mainly involve those mentioned in point 1. Therefore, descent into argument beyond a debating standard is perhaps inevitable.







    *Normally I don't get a lot of time to read this kind of site or participate in same - work takes me to some less than hospitable places (certainly with little to no network coverage except by satellite phone).

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  14. #28
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    There are some heated discussions about fountain pens over on the Pandemic forum.

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck Naill View Post
    There are some heated discussions about fountain pens over on the Pandemic forum.
    Not so much heated. Just futile. Partly my fault. As a teacher, I tend to be positive about individual growth and awareness. The adult world sometimes conflicts with that. But then, we must be the change that we seek in the world.

    Sent from my Moto E (4) using Tapatalk

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  18. #30
    Member LeFreak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Someone needs the power to move the incendiary shite threads to the lounge so those of us who want to avoid them, can.
    wasting time on tapatalk

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    I received a negative reputation hit from someone whom I called for critiquing me; no surprise there. Actually it's almost comical. The thread was subsequently deleted. Ultimately doing ones best, in spite of those who find it as cause to create controversy, works best. Allowing maliciousness on the part of others to cause retreat, imho, is exactly the wrong thing as it's what they want and rewards them for being malicious. I don't know you, Chrissy, as I'm new here; do what you need to do but it's sad to see good trampled on and lose to maliciousness. As is frequently said these days, "haters gonna hate."

  20. #32
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    I don't think it's a case of "good trampled on and lose to maliciousness". It's simpler than that. When the foolishness and unpleasantness reaches a level where it outweighs the positive discussion, it's time to go and do something else. I don't believe those people who have taken time out - or even left permanently - did so because they felt defeated. They ran out of tolerance for people who can't behave themselves.
    Regards,
    Deb
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  22. #33
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    It seems impossible to avoid acrimony here now. I've enjoyed my time here in the past but I no longer enjoy it so I'm done.
    Regards,
    Deb
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  23. #34
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Deb View Post
    It seems impossible to avoid acrimony here now. I've enjoyed my time here in the past but I no longer enjoy it so I'm done.

    Deb, don't let one entitled person who in "nearly 70 years" has not learned how to be nice to other people and who just joined LESS THAN A MONTH AGO push you away from a community you have been part of for 7 years. In all likelihood, he will leave this board sooner rather than later. In the meantime, there's the ignore user function. It works nicely.

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by INeedAFinancialAdvisor View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Deb View Post
    It seems impossible to avoid acrimony here now. I've enjoyed my time here in the past but I no longer enjoy it so I'm done.

    Deb, don't let one entitled person who in "nearly 70 years" has not learned how to be nice to other people and who just joined LESS THAN A MONTH AGO push you away from a community you have been part of for 7 years. In all likelihood, he will leave this board sooner rather than later. In the meantime, there's the ignore user function. It works nicely.
    Ditto that.

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    If Deb and Chrissy go, I'll be very disappointed. What happens when all that's left are curmudgeons? Deb, I am Estycollector on the other forum.

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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck Naill View Post
    If Deb and Chrissy go, I'll be very disappointed. What happens when all that's left are curmudgeons? Deb, I am Estycollector on the other forum.
    Answer: The site will be gone in a month.

    How can we just sit here and let these sociopaths hijack our Forum? I recall a post from someone over the past year who said that even though the Moderator is silent and hands off they were still in touch with him. Can't someone reach out to him and get him to block these scum-bags?

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  31. #38
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck Naill View Post
    If Deb and Chrissy go, I'll be very disappointed. What happens when all that's left are curmudgeons? Deb, I am Estycollector on the other forum.
    My guess?

    Trolls picking fights with trolls. until about a month from now they get bored and go back to 4chan or reddit (although personally, reddit seems far more civil than some THREADS/people here... well, the fountain pen part of reddit at least)

    board dies. tumble weeds roll through. and maybe someday civil people come back, assuming the board doesn't get shut down from lack of use.

    The fix? IGNORE THESE ASSHOLES.
    - add them to you ignore list;
    - stop reading the posts not about fountain pens where people just go to scream into an echo chamber
    - if the trolls pick a fight in a fountain pen thread: do what your mom always told you do to with your little brother/sister when they got on your nerves: IGNORE THEM.
    - do NOT attempt to "show them the error of their ways" they don't want to change
    - do not attempt to "enlighten them" they don't want to change
    - do not attempt to "bring them around" they DON'T WANT TO CHANGE, they want to "WIN"

    This is almost entirely emotional and you will not win using a rational argument
    https://www.americanscientist.org/ar...become-a-troll

    DO. NOT. FEED. THE. TROLLS.

    Think WarGames https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WarGames
    "the only winning move is not to play."

    This is the one place in the universe (trolls on the internet) where the "just ignore them and they will go away and find someone else to bother" advice ACTUALLY WORKS. They FEED on having the argument, on the "i'll show you!" attitude.

    Please do not let these argumentative people ruin what is otherwise a very nice and welcoming community.

    just pretend they don't exist. Don't talk shit about them, don't critique them, don't play the "reputation board" game, don't even acknowledge them as long as they continue to pick fights. Just add them to your ignore list and get on with having a nice chat with your pen friends.

    If you leave (and I understand why you would!) they win. If you ignore them, THEY will either smarten up or leave. Either way, the trolling stops.

    /rant

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  33. #39
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by INeedAFinancialAdvisor View Post
    Deb, don't let one entitled person who in "nearly 70 years" has not learned how to be nice to other people and who just joined LESS THAN A MONTH AGO push you away from a community you have been part of for 7 years. In all likelihood, he will leave this board sooner rather than later. In the meantime, there's the ignore user function. It works nicely.


    I've been told to sit tight until further instructions. Frustrating as all get out. Leaves me twiddling opposables and rooting about on the internet for things that may hold interest for a few minutes.

    The quote above reminded me of something my father once said before I headed off into the less charted points of the planet: "Length of service is not an indicator of quality of service". A cautionary statement that has been quite useful any number of times.

  34. #40
    Senior Member INeedAFinancialAdvisor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taking a break

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave View Post
    I've been told to sit tight until further instructions. Frustrating as all get out. Leaves me twiddling opposables and rooting about on the internet for things that may hold interest for a few minutes.

    The quote above reminded me of something my father once said before I headed off into the less charted points of the planet: "Length of service is not an indicator of quality of service". A cautionary statement that has been quite useful any number of times.
    I absolutely agree. However i also consider that to be situationally dependant. In this situation, a new (voluntary) member to an established community has chosen to act in a somewhat belligerent and “butthurt”/defensive way towards other members who are long time, highly productive and well thought of members of said community.

    So while i ABSOLUTELY agree with and have witnessed the length of service vs quality Argument, in this case i personally find “when in Rome, do as the Romans” to be more situationally appropriate

    A multitude of points of view is what helps us learn

    "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.“ (yes I’m a Star Trek nerd)
    Last edited by INeedAFinancialAdvisor; April 12th, 2020 at 04:32 PM.

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