During the lockdown, though no doubt quietly originating some time before, I've experienced growing concern about holding and using my fountain pens. It's a difficult sensation to describe, and I am not sure that I can fully capture all facets of it.
At present I have 15 pens, of which 7 are decidedly vintage. At first this issue was mainly centred on the vintage pens, but now has also involved the modern ones too. It's a sense, in part, that the pens are not somehow up to the rigour of daily use. Now, obviously the vintage pens have survived this far, and they are certainly well used examples. Yet despite this I have grown concerned for their durability to the point where I no longer feel confident in picking them as writers. I know they are not fragile, so perhaps it was the expense and potential degree of economic loss should one get damaged that was driving this. However, this feeling has spread to my modern pens, all of which were at least, if not more, expensive than the vintage pens.
There is one exception - I have a Pilot CH912 that just works for me (apart from the nib). This pen I can just pick up, whip the cap off and post it, and just write. What I cannot fathom is why this particular pen does not trigger the aforementioned lack of confidence of having the pen in my hand.*
Don't get me wrong, I like all my pens, for a variety of reasons - examples of type, aesthetics, nibs and so on. The CH912 by comparison to the others is rather plain to my eyes. I am actually considering getting another 912 with a more regular nib for all my writing - the FA nib just doesn't cut it - and having the rest as a non-used collection (although hardly worthy of that description).
I appreciate that in most member's eyes I am, in the kindest terms, a somewhat odd duck. Be that as it may, this is a real thing for me, and a bit concerning, irrational though it no doubt will seem to you guys.
Anyway, it's been a very strange experience, to the point that when I pick up one of the 'problem' pens it doesn't even look right in my hand.
I do wonder if I've got a touch of minor catastrophising go on in my mind with regard to these pens. Well, it would make a useful companion to the imposter syndrome I usually experience when posting here, I suppose.
*
My modern pens are: Pilot Custom 823, Lamy 2K, Pilot CH912, 3 custom made pens (2x alumilite, 1x acrylic), Pilot Decimo.
My vintage pens are: Sheaffer's Sentinel, 2x Valiant (all hardly ever touched now), Accurate (no longer used), Waterman 52 (no longer used), Waterman W5 (never used), Parker Duofold Sr (never used).
Bookmarks