Private Messages

[Empty_of_Clouds]

I tend to agree. In one instance it was a person who accuses me (and still does) of being a troll. So the irony of that is not lost, but still I would prefer people to at least try to be kind. For more good advice see the excellent words of Jon Szanto in my sig.

[Jon Szanto]

Private messages are not confidential. Initially, they can be seen only by one account. After that, anything can happen.

Actually, *two*, if you count the owner/admin of the site.

[TSherbs]

Private messages are not confidential. Initially, they can be seen only by one account. After that, anything can happen.

Actually, *two*, if you count the owner/admin of the site.

True. Thx for the correction.

Sent from my Moto E (4) using Tapatalk

[RobJohnson]

I asked someone who is a long term member for their opinion on a post that I had read on here, I sent a private message. Their answer was they did not trust private message and they would not answer, they said that it was too easy to pass a message round, messages were not private.

This cannot be right surely, it does not say very much for people.

Has the irony struck you that in their refusal to answer the question, they replied to you PM, answering a message that is now being passed around, and thusly not 'private'? Bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy that.

Hi, yes I got the idea, I interpreted their thinking that they were not interested in passing on anything of interest to others, they wanted nothing 'quotable', especially as they did not know me.

[RobJohnson]

My office is open plan, 30 people and no walls other than glass walls for meeting rooms, the CEO can see and hear everything and also the interns and juniors. There is a Messenger system, similar to the Yahoo/MSN Messenger of 20 years ago. It gets abused, people use it for nasty gossip and cut and paste what is said for later use against the others. It has also become very cliquey, people have their freind groups which excludes others. One person, a POC, has started a legal action claiming the system is divisive, racist and has been used for sexist comments and we will shut the system down.

[Empty_of_Clouds]

Yeah, you get that cliquey stuff going on here too. Probably an unavoidable aspect of human groups. There is further irony in that people here protest against such observations despite being in an exclusionary clique themselves, but that is a different question to the OP.

Whatever I write in a PM I consider confidential. If a recipient decides to report those words in open forum then I will stand by those words. The practical effect is that if I judge the revealing to be ill-advised or malicious then that recipient will no longer receive PMs of any substance. Doesn't mean I won't talk to them, I'm not that small minded, just that there would be limits on the content of conversations.

I'd rather hear what someone has to say than not.

[An old bloke]

Quoting from above, 'Whatever I write in a PM I consider confidential.', I assume that tongues wag and anything I offer may be repeated with, or without me knowing it. That being the case, I consider what I have to say and temper what I write or say with the expectation that it may be called to question, or at least repeated.

As for forum cliques -- or any form of social clique -- while I understand that like minded people will naturally group together, especially the 'group think lot that we see more frequently today, I do not personally engage in them. I cherish my individualism, appreciate the uniqueness and dignity that each person possesses, and have neither the desire nor the inclination to be 'in'. Like Empty of Clouds, I too would rather hear what others think and have to say. I may learn something from them for the effort.

[RobJohnson]

Quoting from above, 'Whatever I write in a PM I consider confidential.', I assume that tongues wag and anything I offer may be repeated with, or without me knowing it. That being the case, I consider what I have to say and temper what I write or say with the expectation that it may be called to question, or at least repeated.

As for forum cliques -- or any form of social clique -- while I understand that like minded people will naturally group together, especially the 'group think lot that we see more frequently today, I do not personally engage in them. I cherish my individualism, appreciate the uniqueness and dignity that each person possesses, and have neither the desire nor the inclination to be 'in'. Like Empty of Clouds, I too would rather hear what others think and have to say. I may learn something from them for the effort.

You make some interesting points.

Many of us are involved in letter exchanges, I would be shocked if someone was to scan a letter of mine and forward it, possibly by PM on FPG, to anyone else at all, I suspect that many of us would feel the same, I would be surprised if the forwarding of private messages within these cliques does not happen.

[Pterodactylus]

You make some interesting points.

Many of us are involved in letter exchanges, I would be shocked if someone was to scan a letter of mine and forward it, possibly by PM on FPG, to anyone else at all, I suspect that many of us would feel the same, I would be surprised if the forwarding of private messages within these cliques does not happen.

Maybe you overestimate the interestingness of your private messages to other people (especially to ones who do not know you). 😝




Or maybe I underestimate the content of your private messages regarding e.g. their frivolity, sexiness, whistle blowing, entertainment, pornographic, global importance, philosophical, .... factors.






Or with other words:

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. - Ann Landers

[RobJohnson]

You make some interesting points.

Many of us are involved in letter exchanges, I would be shocked if someone was to scan a letter of mine and forward it, possibly by PM on FPG, to anyone else at all, I suspect that many of us would feel the same, I would be surprised if the forwarding of private messages within these cliques does not happen.

Maybe you overestimate the interestingness of your private messages to other people (especially to ones who do not know you). 😝




Or maybe I underestimate the content of your private messages regarding e.g. their frivolity, sexiness, whistle blowing, entertainment, pornographic, global importance, philosophical, .... factors.






Or with other words:

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what they think of us. At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all. - Ann Landers

Thanks for your observations.

I am not one to go into details but my comment was not hypothetical.

[Empty_of_Clouds]

Quoting from above, 'Whatever I write in a PM I consider confidential.', I assume that tongues wag and anything I offer may be repeated with, or without me knowing it. That being the case, I consider what I have to say and temper what I write or say with the expectation that it may be called to question, or at least repeated.

Just to clarify. Whilst I consider PMs to be confidential, I understand there is no obligation for them to be so beyond our personal ethics. My position is that I will start off with that level trust. Where my opinion of someone goes from there depends on their actions alone.

[RobJohnson]

Quoting from above, 'Whatever I write in a PM I consider confidential.', I assume that tongues wag and anything I offer may be repeated with, or without me knowing it. That being the case, I consider what I have to say and temper what I write or say with the expectation that it may be called to question, or at least repeated.

Just to clarify. Whilst I consider PMs to be confidential, I understand there is no obligation for them to be so beyond our personal ethics. My position is that I will start off with that level trust. Where my opinion of someone goes from there depends on their actions alone.

I suspect that you are a man with a kinder temperament than many. In terms of a trust scale I would rate people at a zero and work from there, other people have said as much to me and there have been some, frankly, bloody awful posts in open forum which show how low some people are prepared to go, even long established members.

But I agree with you Empty, it would be wonderful if a PM could be thought of as confidential, but you cannot rely on that.

[Empty_of_Clouds]

Heh! I should also add that my hypothetical 'trust level', like any investment, may go up or down. Once it moves it does not have a set trajectory thereafter.

[TSherbs]

Yeah, you get that cliquey stuff going on here too... .

Chrissy just alerted me to group private messages here, which means, since I have never been in one, that I am not one of the cool kids.

I'm dancin' with my sel-elf....





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[FredRydr]

Chrissy just alerted me to group private messages here, which means, since I have never been in one, that I am not one of the cool kids.

I'm dancin' with my sel-elf....

Should I be envious?

[Chrissy]

Chrissy just alerted me to group private messages here, which means, since I have never been in one, that I am not one of the cool kids.

I'm dancin' with my sel-elf....





Sent from my Moto E (4) using Tapatalk

It's not really a group private message, it's just that it's a normal feature of Private Messaging on fora that you can select more than one recipient of a PM. That's how someone makes contact with more than one person when necessary.
It's the same on FPN.

[Ray-VIgo]

Certain types of internet forum software permits admins to view the contents of private messages and "send email" messages passed through the board. I am not sure if that software is used here. I was an admin at another board where such viewing was possible, and the software allowed us to see everything sent, public or private.

[RobJohnson]

Certain types of internet forum software permits admins to view the contents of private messages and "send email" messages passed through the board. I am not sure if that software is used here. I was an admin at another board where such viewing was possible, and the software allowed us to see everything sent, public or private.

So I understand, in fact people have been caught out by this software allowing Mods to see the emails of Watched members, a Moderator told me on another forum that a banned member had been watched for quite some time.

[Chrissy]

Certain types of internet forum software permits admins to view the contents of private messages and "send email" messages passed through the board. I am not sure if that software is used here. I was an admin at another board where such viewing was possible, and the software allowed us to see everything sent, public or private.

I wasn't aware that could definitely happen despite having heard that it might sometimes be the case. I was advised by the administrator on another forum that it definitely was not the case.

[RobJohnson]

My understanding is that most if not all forum platforms include the provision for admin/mods/IT Admin to inspect any Private Message especially following complaints from other members of such things as harassment, coercion, fraud etc. When you think about it, it would only be logical for Admin to have that facility.

Another forum that I am in makes this specific comment in their rules on Private Messages:


Whilst personal conversations are not visible publicly or to other members of the forum, except to those people in the conversation, forum admin and/or server admin may be able to access the conversations under certain circumstances. For this reason Private Messages should not actually be called "Private"


Please note that the ability for admin to view personal messages is common to any similar forum software. Our policy is not to read personal conversations or allow any third party access unless special circumstances require it, however you are advised to be aware that nothing you say in personal conversations on this, or any other forum that we know of, is truly private. If you want to discuss completely private matters with other members, then you are advised to do so via email, telephone or other forms of communication.