Boudreaux and Thibodeaux jokes

[Skwerlmasta]

I've forgotten more of these than I can remember. Unfortunately my thick cajun accent doesn't transfer to the internet, so you'll just have to imagine it in your head.

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux go to the unemployment office. Boudreaux is the first one called and he goes to the desk. The lady asks him, "What employable skills do you have?"

Boudreaux looks confused, "What you mean?"

The lady asks, "What did you do at your last job?"

"Meh, cher, I was a pilot."

"We have several openings for pilots, fill this out, please," and sends him to the counter, pen and application in hand.

Thibodeaux is called next, "Sir, what did you do in your last job?"

"Me, I cut sugar cane."

"Do you have any other skills?"

"Nah, I just cut sugar cane."

"Well, sir, we don't we don't have any jobs available for you now."

Thibodeaux eyes her, real confused like, "Meh, cher, I don't understand. Why dontcha just gimme one of them jobs like what you just gave ole Boudreaux there."

"Sir, he has a skill that is in high demand. He's a pilot."

"Well he can't really pile it till I cut it, now can he."

[Skwerlmasta]

Thibodeaux goes to Boudreaux's house one day, "Boudreaux, I done bought me the best hunting dog ever. This dog can count."

Boudreaux eyes him like he been out in the sun too long, "Thibodeaux, ain't no dogs can count."

"Boudreaux, I'm telling you, my dog knows them numbers. Let me prove it for you."

They jump in the truck and head to the nearest pond. Thibodeaux steps out the truck and says, "Dog, go tell me how many ducks in that pond." The dog jumps out, runs to the pond, hightails it back to Thibodeaux and barks three times. "Boudreaux, there three ducks in that pond."

"Ain't no ways, Thibodeaux. Dogs can't count." So they walk to the pond and sure enough, there's three ducks.

"I told you, Boudreaux."

"That dog can't count, just lucky."

So they go to several more ponds, and each time the dog comes back and barks the number of ducks. Boudreaux is convinced. "Thibodeaux, how much you want for that there dog?"

Thibodeaux thinks on it for a spell, "Well, this the only dog I know can count, I don't rightly think I want to sell him."

"Thibodeaux, I'll give you 300 dollars for that dog right now, cash money."

Thibodeaux thinks on it a bit, "You know, I only paid 100 for him. With that kind of money I can buy the wife that new pirogue she been wanting."

The next day Boudreaux decides to take his new dog hunting. He drives out to the pond, opens the door, "Dog, go tell me how many ducks in that pond."

The dog runs out and runs back, then he runs in a circle, picks up a tree branch and worries it like dogs do, then he drops it and points to the pond.
Boudreaux gets red in the face, "Dog, go tell me how many ducks in that pond."
The dog runs out, runs back, same thing. He runs in a circle, picks up a branch and worries it, then drops it and points to the pond.
Boudreaux done turn three shades of red, "DOG, GO TELL ME HOW MANY DUCKS IN THAT POND!!"
Same result, when the dog returns, he runs in a circle, picks up that same branch, worries it, then drops it and points to pond.

Boudreaux goes back to Thibodeaux, "I want my money back Thibodeaux, that dog defective."

"What he do, Boudreaux."

Boudreaux tells him, "All that dog would do is run in circles, worrying them trees, and pointing."

"Meh, Boudreaux, where that dog at?"

"I had to put him down, Thibodeaux, he done lost his mind."

"You shouldna done that Boudreaux."

"And why not?"

"That dog was tryna tell you that there was more ducks in that pond then you could shake a stick at."

[Skwerlmasta]

Hebert, that game warden down on the bayou, he's been trying to catch Thibodeaux up to no good for a long time. He knows Thibodeaux is up to no good, because them Thibodeaux's always up to no good. He watches Thibodeaux everyday, leaving in his pirogue with a big old lunch pail and a six pack of beer. Every day Thibodeaux comes back with a big haul of catgfish. Only thing is, Thibodeaux never bring a pole, a hook or bait. Just that lunch pail and beer.

He decides he's gonna out smart that Thibodeaux, them Thibodeaux's ain't all that bright, after all.

Next morning, he's waiting by Thibodeaux's pirogue, and here comes Thibodeaux, lunch pail and beer. He decides he's gonna butter Thibodeaux up real good. "Thibodeaux, every day I see you come back with that boatload of fish. Nobody fish as good as you, I say you the best fisherman on this bayou."

Thibodeaux gives him that big Thibodeaux grin, "Ain't no arguing with a man when he's right."

Hebert just keeps butterin, "Thibodeaux, my wife, she like some fish, but I can't never catch fish like you. She told me I should come to you and ask you to show me how you fish. Would you do me that honor?"

Thibodeaux points out to the boat, "I ain't ever like you Hebert, but your wife ain't never done me harm. Jump on in, I'll show you right."

They row out in the basin and Thibodeaux finds him a spot. He hands Hebert a beer, then cracks one open and takes a drink. He points to that lunch pail and tells Hebert, "All you got to know is right there."

Hebert looks confused, "How you gonna fish with some boudin, Thibodeaux?"
Thibodeaux opens that pail, he pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it and tosses it into the Atchafalya. Hebert is excited, his plan to outsmart Thibodeaux worked a charm, "I done got you now Thibodeaux. I been waiting years for this moment."

Thibodeaux don't look too concerned, "Meh, Hebert you think this fishing is illegal?"

"You darn right it's illegal."

Thibodeaux scratches his chin and makes his thinking face, "Well what happened if I saw you fishing like this?"

"Well, Thibodeaux, you ain't seen me fishing like this cause I ain't never fish like this."

"Well, Hebert, just supposin I did see you fish like this?"

"Well, Thibodeaux, just supposin, I guess I couldn't turn you in or you'd turn me in."

Thibodeaux he takes a big old drink of that beer, lights another stick of dynamite and tosses it in Hebert's lap, "Hebert, you gonna talk all day or you gonna fish?"

[An old bloke]

Good ones!

[Skwerlmasta]

Thibodeaux and Boudreaux go hunting in Alaska. They hire a bush pilot to fly them out and they get to huntin.
Boudreaux bags himself the biggest elk you ever saw, and they haul it back to the plane. They huffing and panting, but they're excited. But the pilot, he ain't excited much, "I don't think this plane can carry that weight."

Boudreaux he gets real offended, "We was out here last year and got us one just about this size. That pilot got it on the plane and he had the same kinda plane."

Boudreaux and the pilot squabble a bit, and the pilot relents, "You sure that pilot last year was able to carry it?"

"Sure enough, it took some work to get it on the plane, but we got it on the plane."

They load it up and take off, the plane promptly crashes.

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux crawl out that plane holding their backs. Thibodeaux asks, "Boudreaux, do this place look familiar to you?"

Boudreaux looks around a bit and says, "This place look real familiar Thibodeaux. I think this the same place we crash last year."

[amk]

OMG what have you started here!
I have been sitting at my desk chuckling away. I ought to be doing some work.... but heck. This is too good!

[Skwerlmasta]

I'm glad that it brings some laughter to you guys.

Thibodeaux and Boudreaux die and go to Heaven. God tells them that they in the right place, but he hasn't got them a house just yet, they gonna have to go to that other place for a couple weeks till he gets their cabin fixed up. They agree and off they go.
A few days later the Devil, he calls up God just mad as...well, the Devil.

"God, them old boys gotta go."

"Why's that?"

"They complaining about that heat down here."

"Them boys from down the bayou, they should be able to take it. Besides, it's a dry heat."

The devil, he just getting madder, "They done went too far, God. They got to go!"

God asks, "What them two done got up to now?"

The Devil is screaming mad, "Three days, God! Three days! Them two done held a raffle to raise some money and Thibodeaux's cousin coming next week to install that AC."

[Skwerlmasta]

Thibodeaux and Boudreaux are sitting on the porch, drinking that Blue Ribbon, and talking about their hunting dogs. They get into a dispute about who's hunting dog is the best. And like Cajuns do, they decide to put some money on it. They make the bet and decide they gonna take those dogs out hunting tomorrow to settle it.

They go out to the pond and Boudreaux goes first. He shoots that duck and it falls in the pond. His dog swims out there, grabs that duck just as gentle as can be. He lays it at Boudreaux's feet and takes a seat on the side of that old cajun. "I told you Thibodeaux, this just the best trained dog you ever see."

Thibodeaux, says "Hold up, you ain't see nothing yet."

He shoots that duck and it falls. Thibodeaux's dog sprints out there, not even stopping at the pond. He just keeps on running right on top that water like he was Jesus. He picks up that duck and brings it to Thibodeaux's feet and takes his place at his old man's side. Thibodeaux gives that big ole cajun grin, "Ain't that just something else, Boudreaux? I think it's time to pay up."

Boudreaux ain't pleased with the situation, "Thibodeaux, I think you lost. I don't see what's so special about your dog."

"How you figure that, Boudreaux?"

"You're mangy mutt don't even know how to swim."