Originally Posted by
Igraine
I see things the same - to a point. I work with the elderly, and before death, for many of us, there are many years of suffering from health problems, complete loss of mobility, dementia, eating puréed food, diapers...sometimes health consequences of poor life choices, sometimes not. Doesn’t seem to matter. Even worse to be living in a youth obsessed culture where the elderly don’t matter, where a blind eye is turned to poor care and ridiculously bad staffing ratios. I look around at all of them and think how sad it is...that people work hard their entire lives, try to live the best they can, and this is how they end up? It just doesn’t seem fair. And of course, being around it all the time, one can’t help but think, is this what fate has in store for me? It’s depressing as hell.
That's hard stuff, and you have painted it stark and true. I can't do much from here except offer a virtual hand on your shoulder in friendship. I don't do the job you do, but I've just finished about a quarter of a century of personal eldercare, having taken all four parents plus an uncle through their last journeys. My mom was the last, and she passed 2 years ago. The longest was my father, who had open heart surgery and suffered a stroke, and spent the last 7 years bouncing back and then fading out. It's hard, hard stuff.
I have no children and only one sibling. I/we will likely be on our own at the end, and are planning on how best to do it. I've given thought, serious thought, to living to the max and then pulling a Thelma and Louise ending! I doubt I could pull it off, but it makes me smile to think of that exit ramp.
I don't know you but it is clear this is a lot on your shoulders and psyche. I hope it won't seem out of place or too intrusive to suggest that you seek counseling (if you haven't already). Those of you who are the walking angels, taking care of our elders, need your own caring professionals to heal your souls. I hope you can and will allow that care to assist you, and I wish you all the best.
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