Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 22

Thread: When the expected feels unexpected

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    874
    Thanked 2,528 Times in 1,299 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default When the expected feels unexpected

    This morning I was informed that my mother has passed away.

    She was ill (end-stage renal failure, among other comorbidities), and old, and had recently suffered a stroke. Despite the inevitability of death for all of us, despite understanding her survival odds, and despite 18 years of trying to follow the Way, I still find that the difference between the expectations we come to accept and the actuality of the event has the power to stop me in my tracks.

    The distance between us (half a world) weighs heavy.

    I don't think I can say any more.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jon Szanto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    6,617
    Thanks
    7,796
    Thanked 11,042 Times in 4,011 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Most sincere condolences to you. Holding you in the Light, friend.
    "When Men differ in Opinion, both Sides ought equally to have the Advantage of being heard by the Publick;
    and that when Truth and Error have fair Play, the former is always an overmatch for the latter."

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

  3. #3
    Senior Member mizgeorge's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Posts
    3,993
    Thanks
    2,101
    Thanked 2,222 Times in 1,253 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    I am so very sad for you. There is never a right time, regardless of how well-prepared we may think we are, and to be so far away only amplifies that.

    I will keep you in my thoughts.

  4. #4
    Senior Member guyy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Brooklyn NY
    Posts
    775
    Thanks
    381
    Thanked 618 Times in 344 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    You have my sympathy, Empty of Clouds. It’s never easy, no matter the circumstances.

  5. #5
    Senior Member silverlifter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    616
    Thanks
    359
    Thanked 772 Times in 355 Posts
    Rep Power
    6

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Quote Originally Posted by Empty_of_Clouds View Post
    still find that the difference between the expectations we come to accept and the actuality of the event has the power to stop me in my tracks.
    That bond is wound with ties of emotion and experience that go to the core of our being. Its loosening is something we all understand, but the force of its unravelling resonates through us in ways that defy comprehension.

    My deepest condolences.
    Vintage. Cursive italic. Iron gall.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Clinging desperately to planet Earth
    Posts
    474
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked 474 Times in 281 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    My sincerest sympathies. I have lost both parents, a sibling, and most recently, three years ago, my beloved wife.

    Loss and grief are never easy, and especially painful when the love one is a spouse, parent or child. Equally, there are times when there is a sense of relief that comes from knowing that a loved one's suffering has finally ended.

    All I can add is to take the time to grieve. Take the time to remember the times, joys, and sorrows you shared. Hold those memories in your heart and find comfort in them.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sailor Kenshin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Where pigs run free!
    Posts
    4,003
    Thanks
    6,231
    Thanked 3,427 Times in 1,716 Posts
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Quote Originally Posted by Empty_of_Clouds View Post
    This morning I was informed that my mother has passed away.

    She was ill (end-stage renal failure, among other comorbidities), and old, and had recently suffered a stroke. Despite the inevitability of death for all of us, despite understanding her survival odds, and despite 18 years of trying to follow the Way, I still find that the difference between the expectations we come to accept and the actuality of the event has the power to stop me in my tracks.

    The distance between us (half a world) weighs heavy.

    I don't think I can say any more.
    I'm so sorry, EOC. My sincere condolences on your loss.
    My other pen is a Montblanc.

    And my other blog is a tumblr!


    And my latest ebook, for spooky wintery reading:

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0CM2NGSSD

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    1,715
    Thanks
    4,749
    Thanked 4,654 Times in 1,132 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    So sorry for your loss, EoC.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,075
    Thanks
    365
    Thanked 455 Times in 259 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Dreadfully sorry to hear your sad news EoC. You have our condolences.

  10. #10
    Senior Member penwash's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Dallas, as in the 80's TV Series
    Posts
    3,662
    Thanks
    3,364
    Thanked 6,703 Times in 1,972 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    David, please accept my condolences.
    - Will
    Unique and restored vintage pens: Redeem Pens

  11. #11
    Senior Member Lady Onogaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Lafayette, LA
    Posts
    2,197
    Thanks
    5,214
    Thanked 1,578 Times in 943 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    I'm so sorry, David. These losses are always hard.
    Lady Onogaro

    "Be yourself--everybody else is already taken." --Oscar Wilde

  12. #12
    Senior Member Detman101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
    Location
    Lost...help.
    Posts
    718
    Thanks
    1,566
    Thanked 590 Times in 294 Posts
    Rep Power
    4

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Sorry for your loss.
    Praying for strength through these rough times for you.
    Take care.
    "I can only improve my self, not the world."

  13. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    136
    Thanks
    87
    Thanked 76 Times in 48 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    David - I am so sorry for your loss. We try to prepare, but I don't think most of us can. Our earliest memories, and our earliest self, are usually bound up with our mother.

    Her feet are on another Path. May her memory be a blessing.

  14. #14
    Senior Member fountainpenkid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Nouvelle Angleterre
    Posts
    3,675
    Thanks
    3,483
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 598 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    I'm so sorry to read this. It is true, no preparation changes how it hits. My sincerest condolences.
    Will
    If my p.m box is full, feel free to email me at dabantur@gmail.com.

  15. #15
    Senior Member manoeuver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Near Midwest, US
    Posts
    1,594
    Thanks
    1,227
    Thanked 1,081 Times in 555 Posts
    Rep Power
    15

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Condolences David. that is a heavy loss.

  16. #16
    FPG Donor ♕ KrazyIvan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Texas-USA
    Posts
    5,068
    Thanks
    1,476
    Thanked 1,798 Times in 943 Posts
    Rep Power
    20

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    I am sorry for your loss, my sincerest condolences to you and your family.
    Fountain Pen Sith Lord | Daakusaido | Everything in one spot

  17. #17
    Senior Member R.A. Stewart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois, Great Lakes, USA
    Posts
    121
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 145 Times in 73 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    My condolences for your loss. Both my parents died more than 20 years ago, and as it was with your mother, it was expected -- but that doesn't make it easier.
    “We go to the garrick now and become warbs.”--James Thurber

  18. #18
    Senior Member Yazeh's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    8,352
    Thanks
    9,830
    Thanked 6,098 Times in 2,213 Posts
    Rep Power
    14

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    May you find the power to embrace the pain....you are not alone... we are with you....while you grieve....


    I am a bird of paradise, nay from this earth, a few days, entrapped in this cage of mud,
    attributed to Rumi

  19. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    874
    Thanked 2,528 Times in 1,299 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    Just to update a little. It looks like the funeral service will be 30th June. My family and I deeply appreciate the good wishes and advice from all who offered them. Thank you.
    Last edited by Empty_of_Clouds; June 20th, 2021 at 04:22 PM.

  20. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Empty_of_Clouds For This Useful Post:

    catbert (June 23rd, 2021), KrazyIvan (June 21st, 2021), Lady Onogaro (June 21st, 2021), R.A. Stewart (June 23rd, 2021), Yazeh (June 20th, 2021)

  21. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    6,658
    Thanks
    2,027
    Thanked 2,189 Times in 1,419 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default Re: When the expected feels unexpected

    My condolences. Peace to you all.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •