Is FPGeeks still a pleasant place to stay?

[Lloyd]

Baby steps.

As long as they lead in your desired direction, be proud.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Chrissy]

Chrissy-I don't know what transpired between you and EoC. I know we all distort our memories, often to paint ourselves better and the others worse. Often we do this to lessen the pain of a past bad experience. Regardless of what happened, EoC has recognized that he needs to leave it behind. Recognize that my past memory distortion statement applies to both you and EoC (and everyone else). For whatever reason, true or false, EoC feels (felt) horribly treated by several here that include you. I also know that people who are suffering (which we all are to some extent) are likely to feel these negative past memories amplified. Regardless, do her called you names. If you feel you didn't earn them in your memory, prove him wrong by acting as honestly and supportively as you can... or just ignore him. You don't have to engage at all. If you earned them in your memory, turn over a new leaf. Either way, show support. How would you act if a loved one had such an outburst? What if it were an elderly parent or your own child?
EoC- If you're truly living in the present, you needn't mention "Your welcome". You could say "Thank You" to yourself for undertaking difficult but rewarding task of cutting the tight bonds to your past bad memories.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

No you don't, nor do you know how many times. My memories have not been distorted and they can't be made any worse. You have been sucked in by Empty and the time will come when you realise you made an error of judgement. There are many of us here who have been similarly sucked in many times before and therefore know what the future holds. He has personally attacked me one time too many. He stated he would go. If he is not a liar then that's what needs to happen.

I have Empty on my Ignore list and that is exactly how I want it to stay. However, regardless of whoever I try to speak to or reply to on here Empty answers like I'm talking to him or am remotely interested in anything he has to say which I am not. What I want is for my Ignore List to be respected and I want Empty to consider me as uncontactable in any way, shape or form. I want my Ignore list to work both ways. Like I can't read anything he writes and he can't reply to anything I write. Bonds completely cut forever. I guarantee that he will respond to this reply because he simply hasn't got the self control to stop himself from doing so.

[Empty_of_Clouds]

Oftentimes have I heard you speak of one who commits a wrong as though he were not one of you, but a stranger unto you and an intruder upon your world.

But I say that even as the holy and the righteous cannot rise beyond the highest which is in each one of you,

So the wicked and the weak cannot fall lower than the lowest which is in you also.

And as a single leaf turns not yellow but with the silent knowledge of the whole tree, So the wrong-doer cannot do wrong without the hidden will of you all.

Like a procession you walk together towards your god-self.

Almustafa

[Lloyd]

Chrissy- I'm sorry that you feel so abused that you can't be sympathetic. Life is full of many challenges, some we can rise above and some we can't. As we know, one of our members, Andrew, has been engaged in a life that hopefully no one else on this forum will experience. All I know is that life is too short and delicate for us to hold animosity. If you truly can't accept his presence any longer, perhaps he can set your posts to IGNORE. I can't think of any beneficial justification for EoC to follow you if he truly wants to live a more peaceful life.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Empty_of_Clouds]

And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.

And he answered, saying:
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

[Lloyd]

EoC - I'm not well versed in Gibran, but what I've read I've been touched by. As Chrissy has pointed out, you have had a difficult time overcoming your past thoughts. I'd strongly recommend settings those you currently feel disturbed by to IGNORE until you have proven to both yourself and to others here that you are ready for the challenge.... and it will be a challenge. Deeply ingrained negative memories are very tough to leave behind. However, the benefits are more than worth it.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Empty_of_Clouds]

I have had to experience so much stupidity, so many vices, so much error, so much nausea, disillusionment and sorrow, just in order to become a child again and begin anew. I had to experience despair, I had to sink to the greatest mental depths, to thoughts of suicide, in order to experience grace.

Hesse

[Lloyd]

EoC - You're a very talented individual. I've told you before of my strongly positive impressions of you. You me to focus this on positivity. Don't focus on recognition nor applause. Focus on selfless generosity and positivity. Don't replicate behaviors you see as "bad" - that never helped a situation. There are more people willing to help you than you think of you're willing to work at benevolence.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Chrissy]

Chrissy- I'm sorry that you feel so abused that you can't be sympathetic. Life is full of many challenges, some we can rise above and some we can't. As we know, one of our members, Andrew, has been engaged in a life that hopefully no one else on this forum will experience. All I know is that life is too short and delicate for us to hold animosity. If you truly can't accept his presence any longer, perhaps he can set your posts to IGNORE. I can't think of any beneficial justification for EoC to follow you if he truly wants to live a more peaceful life.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

I don't feel so abused that I can't be sympathetic. I have been abused and not just recently. Did you never read the Ignore function thread the only one that survived the last clear out when Empty had one of his previous episodes? His quote then:

Quote Originally Posted by Empty_of_Clouds
"Bigotry, prejudice, intolerance of others views, lack of patience, lack of empathy, closed-mindedness. These are common drivers behind those who use the Ignore function."

So he has no tolerance of those who even use the Ignore function. That's probably why he completely disrespects it. Did he reply to my previous post as I said he would? It looks like he did.
Je reste mon cas

[Empty_of_Clouds]

In my practice tradition - Mahayana - there are six virtues:

1. Dāna pāramitā: generosity, charity, giving
2. Śīla pāramitā: virtue, discipline, proper conduct
3. Kṣānti pāramitā: patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance
4. Vīrya pāramitā: energy, diligence, vigour, effort
5. Dhyāna pāramitā: one-pointed concentration, contemplation, meditation
6. Prajñā pāramitā: transcendent wisdom, spiritual knowledge

Of these I've only had some modest ability to apply numbers 1,4 and 5. The rest (but really all) are a work in practice which will occupy the short stretch of time I have left in this incarnation.


@chrissy, I will hold my hand out to you. If you wish to slap it away, that is your choice. I respect your choice even if it saddens me. My hand will remain outheld. I cannot, and would not, compel anyone to walk the path, but it is my duty (in my practice) to at least show the way.




EDIT: I never put people on my Ignore List. In my opinion everyone brings something of value, even if it is not easily seen.

[Lloyd]

Chrissy- I'm sorry that you feel so abused that you can't be sympathetic. Life is full of many challenges, some we can rise above and some we can't. As we know, one of our members, Andrew, has been engaged in a life that hopefully no one else on this forum will experience. All I know is that life is too short and delicate for us to hold animosity. If you truly can't accept his presence any longer, perhaps he can set your posts to IGNORE. I can't think of any beneficial justification for EoC to follow you if he truly wants to live a more peaceful life.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

I don't feel so abused that I can't be sympathetic. I have been abused and not just recently. Did you never read the Ignore function thread the only one that survived the last clear out when Empty had one of his previous episodes? His quote then:

Quote Originally Posted by Empty_of_Clouds
"Bigotry, prejudice, intolerance of others views, lack of patience, lack of empathy, closed-mindedness. These are common drivers behind those who use the Ignore function."

So he has no tolerance of those who even use the Ignore function. That's probably why he completely disrespects it. Did he reply to my previous post as I said he would? It looks like he did.
Je reste mon cas

This is why I strongly urged him to use the IGNORE button on those he can't accept. His past was not his present. You can assume the worst or you can be hopeful for him to recover. You mention that way back, he was offered a paid trip to California. He must have been seen as special at that time. Why not focus on that side of him and assist him in his return to that? I don't support a "3 strikes and your out" legal system for non-physical acts. I think we all have episodes of negativity and, with support, we can heal. What's the worst that happens, he flares up again? Will there be any physical trauma? Will it matter in the big picture? If you think this place is too fragile for his temperment, perhaps you should ask the owner to run it like FPN.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Empty_of_Clouds]

You mention that way back, he was offered a paid trip to California.

Sorry, Lloyd, but it was only the entry fee to the show that was offered. I was grateful but also too embarrassed to accept - part of my English heritage I'm afraid. The trip was out of my own pocket.

[dneal]

In my practice tradition - Mahayana - there are six virtues:

1. Dāna pāramitā: generosity, charity, giving
2. Śīla pāramitā: virtue, discipline, proper conduct
3. Kṣānti pāramitā: patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance
4. Vīrya pāramitā: energy, diligence, vigour, effort
5. Dhyāna pāramitā: one-pointed concentration, contemplation, meditation
6. Prajñā pāramitā: transcendent wisdom, spiritual knowledge

Of these I've only had some modest ability to apply numbers 1,4 and 5. The rest (but really all) are a work in practice which will occupy the short stretch of time I have left in this incarnation.


@chrissy, I will hold my hand out to you. If you wish to slap it away, that is your choice. I respect your choice even if it saddens me. My hand will remain outheld. I cannot, and would not, compel anyone to walk the path, but it is my duty (in my practice) to at least show the way.




EDIT: I never put people on my Ignore List. In my opinion everyone brings something of value, even if it is not easily seen.

2 and 3 could perhaps be a beneficial area of focus.

You can "show the way" by example rather than instruction or demand.

[Lloyd]

You mention that way back, he was offered a paid trip to California.

Sorry, Lloyd, but it was only the entry fee to the show that was offered. I was grateful but also too embarrassed to accept - part of my English heritage I'm afraid. The trip was out of my own pocket.

Still, they saw you as having value. Clearly, that shows they knew of a positive flame in you. I don't know why someone couldn't imagine someone returning to and surpassing such a way. However, neither you nor I can expect others to quickly heal from the wounds your words have inflicted any more than they should expect similar from you. That's why I think you doing set them to IGNORE for a few months.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Empty_of_Clouds]

@dneal - Indeed, 2 and 3 are some of the more difficult ones gain traction in.

Am I demanding or instructing here? I offer only my hand. I make the same offer to you. Unreservedly.

[Empty_of_Clouds]

@Lloyd, I know. However, I will not use the Ignore List. I don't hold with the idea of exclusion nor of denying anyone at least the opportunity to connect. I don't possess what we call 'skillful means' so I don't know if it is the right thing to do, but my heart says it is even if it proves painful to me.

[Lloyd]

Others might not be ready for acceptance yet. They should have peace. To achieve that, both you and they should use the IGNORE. There's no reason to jump into the deep end of the pool when you're relearning to swim.

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[Empty_of_Clouds]

There is no deep end. I have no expectations. I offer only possibility. It will be hard for anyone here to grasp or accept the ease with which I can take a breath and let all the recent unpleasantness just float away. It is done. I abide.

[Lloyd]

There is no deep end. I have no expectations. I offer only possibility. It will be hard for anyone here to grasp or accept the ease with which I can take a breath and let all the recent unpleasantness just float away. It is done. I abide.

You've tried before. I'm hopeful that you can succeed, but why should you expect others to feel this way? Why not give them a feeling of safety until you've proven long term what you're trying to achieve? Don't they deserve the sense of security?

Typos courtesy of Samsung Auto-Incorrect™

[dneal]

Your predicament is beyond a simple apology or virtual handshake. Your view of others' wrongs falls on deaf ears. Many have adopted a "fool me once..." position, not unjustified.

I'm reminded of a couple of sayings. One about being given enough rope to hang yourself with, and another that if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

To mix metaphors, you're in a hole and I'll throw you a rope. You can tie it around your waist, or around your neck. Either way, I'm going to pull on that rope.