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Thread: Gaps in Correspondence

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    Default Gaps in Correspondence

    Hi. I was wondering if there is some sort of etiquette involved regarding correspondence that has lapsed for a while. Currently I have no penpals, but there was one that I wrote to regularly for several years that I would like to rekindle. The gap in this correspondence was the result of a perfect storm of life and work events that demanded priority for quite some time.

    So, is it okay to reach out and try to rekindle the correspondence? I will add that this penpal was super nice and someone I would very much like to reconnect with, just not sure if it is acceptable to do so now.

    Any advice welcome, as always.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    Living in the moment is what I aspire to, EOC. I try never to forgo doing something good or helpful if I have the opportunity out of fear. At least if you make and effort, you will know you tried. Hope it works out as you wish.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    If you feel like writing, it's appropriate to write.
    If your penpal is currently inundated with handwritten correspondence you may not hear back.
    If not they will likely enjoy receiving a letter, who doesn't?

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    Awesome! Thanks, Tim. Sometimes I wonder if I am being too sensitive about these issues and should just plough ahead and see what happens.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    But PLEASE avoid that phrase "...I'm reaching out to you..." To me, it's patronising, false, obsequious, pretentious. Almost every spam message I receive begins with those words. As if they are doing me some sort of favour. Grrr! (Sorry, pet hate!)

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    Quote Originally Posted by Empty_of_Clouds View Post
    Awesome! Thanks, Tim. Sometimes I wonder if I am being too sensitive about these issues and should just plough ahead and see what happens.
    Well if they're mad at you over something already, and a friendly hello somehow makes it worse, you don't need them as a penpal anydangway.

    I've got a friend(?) who appears to have cut me off over a year ago over a philosophical difference of opinion (I'm guessing at that, he hasn't spoken or written to me about it.) I still reach out from time to time to see if he's ready to resume what was a most pleasant correspondence.

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    Empty_of_Clouds (August 31st, 2022), Jon Szanto (September 1st, 2022)

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    I don't think she will be mad at me, and given the turmoil of the last year or so will no doubt sympathise. She is a very considerate penpal. Mostly it's me getting over my embarrassment at having waited so long to write.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    I would just do it.

    Say in the initial contact what you have here..."I apologize for the delay since our last correspondence. There has been a lot going on(insert as many or as few details as you'd like), but I hope this finds you well" and go from there, or just use whatever phrasing you would like.

    Not necessarily physical letters, but I know on here and other sites(FP related and otherwise) I often have long-running PM conversations with individuals or small groups. Sometimes these simply die a natural death, or maybe better to say come to a natural end, while sometimes conversation falls off and gets resumed months or years later. On another site, I have had one such conversation going with a small group of people since 2013, although it has been through a few different media of exchange in that time.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    Do the thing that feels the most heartfelt and honest to you. A friend will recognize that.
    "When Men differ in Opinion, both Sides ought equally to have the Advantage of being heard by the Publick;
    and that when Truth and Error have fair Play, the former is always an overmatch for the latter."

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    I will try to do just that. Thanks, Jon.

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    Default Re: Gaps in Correspondence

    I was in the same boat a while back. I decided to explain my absence and send a gift (cigars). Seems to have gone well.
    Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

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